Ditch the Yankees and switch to ABB: ANYBODY BUT BOSTON.
It starts with abandoning our increasingly ludicrous shot at a 2018 world championship. Right now, is it sane to imagine this burned-out team running the table in October? Instead, maybe we should root for a lineup that poses a legitimate threat to the Redsocks.
That team, of course, is Oakland.
They are blisteringly hot, ascendant with youth, and possessing a spirit that the Yankees have missed since Aaron Boone took over the post game show. Boone is great at blowing bubble gum balloons, though the YES cameras last night showed him picking exploded pink matter from his face, making him resemble the nose-challenged Lee Harvey bad guy in the 1965 comedy western Cat Ballou. This was supposed to be when the Yankees ran down Boston from behind and took the AL East. Instead, they are clawing the chalk board on their way to the floor, and if the 2018 season had another month, they'd be watching the Tampa Rays steal that final Wild Card berth.
But this leaves Boston with a philosophical dilemma. They play us six times in the final two weeks. If they sweep us, just to show they can, Oakland will surely win the home field advantage - and the Wild Card game. Thus, Boston would face the hottest team in the AL, and a far more likely threat to their championship season. Good luck with that.
If I were a Boston fan, I'd be rooting for the team whose "ace" was being praised last night for throwing 5 and 2/3rd innings - yes, he made it into the sixth! What a dominant start! He only gave up one run to Minnesota! That's the Yankees right now, and wouldn't Boston love to see the bad versions of Dellin Betances and Aroldis Chapman coming in to secure a lead? We're supposed to have a shutdown bullpen? Didn't shut down the Terrible Twins, did it?
It may be time to stop hoping for the impossible - a ridiculously Hollywood Yankee resurgence - and simply hope that somebody else can beat Boston. Instead, we fans can bust our britches with pride over, for the first time in history, we won't pay MLB luxury taxes! I think I speak for the Yankiverse in saying, "Hooray, and thanks, Mr. Steinbrenner!"
Come December, we can sign some hellishly overpriced free agents to 100-year-deals and return to the failed strategies that put us here. We can watch Toronto and Tampa bypass us, and maybe in 10 years, even Baltimore will be good. It doesn't matter. That's for other blogs to sweat. From now on, we don't have to worry about the Yankees. We're IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS... ANYBODY BUT BOSTON!
Posts
14 comments:
Congratulations! You have, inadvertently, hit on the key strategy for 2019 and beyond:
Sign Bryce Harper to a $400 million deal, requiring the NYYs to pay him -- and his assigns -- $4 million annually for 100 years.
Could do the same thing with Machado.
That keeps the team WAAAAY under the salary cap. The ballplayers can safely know that they will enrich their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. At least.
This will work!
The season is turning to ashes in our mouths.
Dammitdammitdammitdammit, this damnable JuJu.
We suck.
End of message.
Imagine this scenario:
Yankees sign Harper and Machado to 10 year bazillion dollar contracts. Both sustain crippling knee injuries permanently limiting their mobility, necessitating them being PLATOON DH's.
Stanton, being forced to play in the field everyday, decides to dive for a ball in the gap and dislocates his shoulder while tearing his rotator cuff.
$100 million a year platooning at DH (or on DL -- it will be like the Scranton shuttle, except more expensive)! At least they'd have that big bat on the bench to pinch hit and strike out with the bases loaded in the ninth! And Glassman Ellsbury can come in to pinch run.
It's a win-win!
Will Hal and Co. be selling “Luxury Tax Champions” swag at the Stadium next year?
TM that one, ‘Stang. The RAB boys will snap them
Joe FOB, you must factor inflation into those payments...
NOTICE WHAT'S GOING ON?
WE CAN'T HIT RIGHT HANDED PITCHING.
I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS SINCE SPRING TRAINING....
WE WERE 1 OR 2 GOOD LEFT HANDED HITTERS SHORT GOING INTO THIS SEASON.
.....AND THAT WAS WITH THE HOPE, WHEN BIRD CAME BACK HE WOULD MAYBE MAKE UP THE DIFFERENCE.
NOW THAT BIRD HAS BEEN A DISASTER, WE ARE STILL REALLY 2 GOOD LEFT HANDED HITTERS SHORT.
AARON HICKS IS HAVING A NICE SEASON, BUT IN MY OPINION, HE IS NOT A #3 HITTER, OR A #4 HITTER...NOT EVEN CLOSE.... AGAINST BETTER PITCHERS, FORGET IT FROM EITHER SIDE.
NOW WITH THIS PROBLEM, OUR ATTENTION MUST BE ON MR. $400 MILLION (BRYCE). NOW WE ARE FORCED TO MEET HIS PRICE.
GOOD OL' COOP COULDN'T SEE IT COMING.
Coop is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
And Voit is turning into a 2-week Shane Spencer.
Take solace in the fact that the Yankees will be in the wild card game, and anything can happen in baseball. I keep seeing this in the newscasts. Is there no mathematical possibility of the Yankees just going home?
And take solace with your reservation this week in the outer banks of North Carolina. You worked hard to pay for a really cool house, and it is your only two weeks of free time away from the stress of work.
Tell your wife why you turned down the " cancellation insurance " option. It is nearly always a rip-off, and hugely expensive. Also, how much does it really cover?
And remember ; technically it is mandatory evacuations not the opposite.
It will give you the same feeling crossing that bridge onto the island that Yankee fans will have watching their heroes land at Logan airport.
Empathy.
Empathy and solace.
Yankee fans and their collapsing adventures.
KD - I like Luxury Tax Champions" T-Shirt
They could sell a sponsorship and make some money. The first 18,000 remaining fans get the TurboTax Luxury Tax Champions" T-Shirt.
As Susan would be forced to say: "TurboTax because when you're filing an official government document with financial and legal consequences you want to do it as quickly as possible. TurboTax official sponsors of the TurboTax Luxury Tax Champions" T-Shirt. TurboTax. "
Doug K.
Doug K.,
Remember, you can do your banking on your mobile phone. It's perfectly safe. Because, the cloud. NO ONE else will be able to access it.
Brought to you by the next generation of cyber security peddlers.
Think of how many terrific young players Cashman has squandered this season so we can savor our annual geriatric parade: McCutcheon, Happ, etc. What a disgrace this guy is. The team has lost all its elan and drive with the discarding of its young talent. It's weighed down with the usual band of aging mediocrities whose intangible "experience" is so appealing to the imbeciles of the daily sports press . . . and the Yankee front office.
Forget it--it's over.
I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.
Post a Comment