Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Letter To A Yankee Nation


Dear Mr. Boone,

I have been vacationing in Yemen and could not get any local newspapers that made sense to me.  Certainly, their coverage of Yankee games was limited.  Usually, I couldn't even find the box score.

So please forgive the intrusion at this critical moment, as the Yankees attempt to win 100 games and secure the home field advantage in the one game play-in tournament.

I did hear via satellite radio that last night was " bullpen night," and that it worked pretty well for a novelty debut ( though copied from your worthy opponent).

What no one highlighted was the performance of your " cast in stone" designation ( Gary Sanchez) as the Yankee's starting catcher for said playoff game.

How did he do last night?

Better defense?  Is he getting his batting eye back? I know you believe that there is a great hitter inside that sticky sweet desert consumer.  Did he come through in the clutch?  Our four runs resulted, largely, from his clutch hitting?

One final comment;  how is it that his batting average always appears as .181?

Usually, when a hitter goes on a hot streak, or a cold one, the BA is impacted.   And yet, with Gary, it always appears as .181.  Is this the new math?

In any case, I have you down was manager of the year in Yemen.

Yours truly.

Alphonso

1-800-IDIOT

3 comments:

Local Bargain Jerk said...


I keep calling that 800 number but all I ever hear is the sound of some guy chewing bubble gum.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Actually, I think he's now at .180. Teetering on the Sub-Mendoza Line.

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