Take THAT, Global Game Without Hands!

So, in the post-Soccalyptic world of August, the Yanks bounced back to take Soccer, 31-18, in The Paper of Record—about our only triumph for the month.

But...this still leaves us trailing by 290-193 on the year.  Yep:  Soccer 290, Yankees 193.

BUT but...the Times did give us a terrific quote and insight into our favorite team today, courtesy of Wallace Mathews, who used to write for real sports pages:

Here is Josh Bard—who filled in as manager after Ma was suspended for a game on a serious cap-touching charge—on why Stanton did not pinch hit, with the game on the line in the 8th inning:

"We were trying to give G a day.  If we would've had a matchup that we really, really liked for G, he probably would have hit there.  But we liked the matchup there for Bird, and Birdie hit the ball hard."

Really?

True, Victor Alcantara, the Tigers' reliever, was a righty—even if he did have an 11.57 ERA over his last five outings.  And hey, Stanton—"G"—is only hitting .254 against righties this year, albeit with 21 homers and a .796 OPS.

Greg Bird, by contrast, was hitting .193 against righties, with 8 homers and a .650 OPS.

Sure, but Bard MUST mean the INDIVIDUAL matchups, right?

I mean, Stanton was only 1-2 with a double against Alcantara, right?  A double that Stanton hit on, uh...well, Thursday.

But still, WAY too small a sample size, correct?

Bird, by contrast, was...0-0.  Never hit against Alcantara.  Zero, nada, nothing.  Never saw the guy before.  Which, as we know, always favors the hitter.  Oy.

Well, at least this tells us we can eliminate Josh Bard from the pool of possible successors to Ma Boone.

Of course, Mathews also told us this:

"But Bard, who was notified Saturday he would be managing, said it made no difference who was in the clubhouse on Sunday.

"No matter who's managing, he said, 'Our process stays the same.' "

Yeah, that's what I was afraid of.