Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Are the Yankees done with the winter?

They finally disappeared Sonny. They'll pass on Manny and Bryce and Dallas (oh my.) Apparently, Frugal Hal will keep the Yankee payroll below the second tier of luxury tax - around $220 million - which means the music has stopped, and the purse just closed. From now on, we're talking about signing the Danny Farquars and the David Hales, reclamation projects and bulwarks of Scranton. Our "fully operational Death Star" is about to transform into the Retrieval Empire. Remember that teenager who built the machine to recover plastics from the ocean? He should remodel it after the Yankees.

Cooperstown Cashman has basically reformed the team that finished 8 games behind Boston last year, and which in October dropped three out of four. (Although, to be fair, the Redsocks right now are not last year's team, their bullpen compromised by the losses of Kimbrell and Kelly.) 

So... are we done? It's over? Is that all there is? If that's all there is, then let's keep dancing. Let's break out the booze and have a ball. If that's all... there is?

If winter's over, we face serious question marks.

What happens when Tulo gets hurt? Hate to be a nudge here, but seriously, what happens? Last year, the very fabric of the Yankees was fundamentally altered by Giancarlo Stanton and his generation-crushing contract. This year, everything revolves around seeking the minimum wage solution to Sir Didi's injury: Troy Tulowitzki's comeback. And listen: Tulo will come back. The guy is a pro. If he says he's still got it, he's still got it. Trouble is, he's got it until something goes "oy" in the shower - a hip, a heel, a gonad - something will bark like Dick Cheney's caboose after cabbage stew. Then it's six weeks on the DL and a rehab assignment in Trenton. Then what? The 34-year-old SS is like the Higgs Boson: it lasts a moment, then it's gone. 

Are we seriously listing CC as a starter? They're talking him up because... well... he's been cleared by his cardiologists. Doctors say he probably won't die. That's the lowest bar since David Cone's aneurysm, and Coney hadn't suffered four bad seasons before the diagnosis. Listen: We all love CC. But to list him in the rotation? That's delusional. But hey, great news Yankee fans: he probably won't clutch his chest and die on the mound!

Will James Paxton break the Cashman Power Arm Curse? It extends back to the days of Jeff Weaver and Javier Vazquez - Cooperstown's relentless quest for the Holy Grail, a starting pitcher who won't separate like old mayonnaise while in pinstripes. The latest incarnations were Michael Pinada and Sonny Gray. So, we are now touting Paxton as the answer to the rotation, a potential ace. Well, last January, we said the same about Sonny. There is a reason why teams trade certain warhorse pitchers; they think the guy is running out of bullets. Paxton is an injury risk. To get him, we traded our best pitching prospect in many years. Could this become the catastrophic deal that ends Cashman's run in NYC? Or is he immune to second-guessing?

Will the infield improve defensively? Our most interesting free agent acquisition this winter - DJ LeMahieu - is a slick-fielding, slap-hitting 2B. Can he play SS too? Right now, our infield looks like Monument Park - full of statues: Andujar, Tulo, Gleyber and some variation of Bird/Voit. Add Gary "the Goalie" Sanchez behind the plate, and this could be the worst Yankee defense since Gary Sheffield picked up a firstbaseman's mitt. We hope our young players will improve. If they don't, dear God, we could be facing doomsday. 

Is that all there is to the winter? The purse is closed? Oh, well, let's break out the booze... and have a ball... if that's all... there is.

14 comments:

ranger_lp said...

Danny Farquhar...

John M said...

"Something will bark like Dick Cheney's caboose after cabbage stew" is the kind of humor I like to think I was capable of years ago but is far out of my league today. I bow in Duque's direction. Fantastic.

I don't know if anyone else has this issue, but whenever I see "James Paxton" I can only read "Lloyd Thaxton." Is it just me?

Anonymous said...

JACK AND COKE.

13bit said...

I'm just done done done done done.

These morons bore the crap out of me, and I never get bored.

From Hal to Randy to Lonn to Brian to Booney to the coach-avatars who are really soul-and-body-destroying beasts, infiltrated by Boston to fuck us over, I'm done.

I'm a Yankee fan forever, but they have to earn it if they want me to watch their bullshit games on bullshit TV all bullshit summer.

Back to work.

p

TheWinWarblist said...

The Great Mariano Rivera was elected to the HoF today. Unanimously. As is only Right and Good. The greatest closer to ever ascend the mound and the greatest postseason pitcher ever. Ever.

TheWinWarblist said...

Bitty, they have presented us with a colossal pile of bullshit; that is undeniable.












FUCKERS!!!!!!

TheWinWarblist said...

By the way, CC could still clutch his chest and die on the mound. Just so you all know.

Leinstery said...

If CC died on the mound, I'd certainly be less bored with the Yankees. At least something happened.

Congrats to Mo and Moose (who should have gone in years ago). I know somewhere out there John and Suzyn are celebrating such a joyous occasion.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I disagree about Mussina, who I found to be one of the least clutch pitchers this side of Sonny Gray.

Also, after a recently injured Mo came in to save Moose's one and only 20-win season (despite an entire career with some of the best-hitting teams in baseball history), Mussina repaid him in that first offseason of his retirement, by...blaming Mo for his failure to win a ring as a Yankee.

Ironic they will go in together.

HoraceClarke66 said...

But hey...

Congratulations to The Great One!

We're not worthy, we're not worthy, we're not worthy!

Vampifella said...

Congrats to Mariano Rivera! Honestly I'm surprised he got in unanimously due to the whimsicalness of the voters and general Yankee hate. Jeter should get in with 100% next year as well. I know there are reasons for him to not be in there but that's the same idiotness that kept Cal from getting his 100%. Some players are just so obviously HOF that there should have been several 100% by now.

And also congrats to Mike Mussina! He'll probably go in as an O because he has two more years with them and his playoff numbers as a Yank are rather sad but I would love to see him go in as a Yank.

As for the rest, I don't care for Halladay at all, he should have lingered for a few years. Edgar Martínez is WAAAAY better than Harold Baines but I just don't really feel he is HOF material either.

I'm really surprised Todd Helton got so few votes but really he's on the level of Rolen and Kent where they are good but just not HOF good. They really need to reduce the waiting years down to 5 as these guys don't have much of a chance and it's just sad to keep them around. Sadly the Crime Dog timed out like that but we'll probably see him get in with the vet's committee vote.

Pettitte should have had some more love but I think his admitted drug use kept the voters away.

Wish Sheffield and Sosa would just drop off the list. I don't like either one and neither has a chance of getting in.

Overall, a very predictable vote. Next year will be Jeter of course but the rest of the first years will drop off as not a single one of them is even close to being even a borderline HOFer. They'll probably vote Walker in as well as it's rare to vote only 1 in these days.

Schilling could get in but that would be so awful. More likely is that the Axis of Evil (Schilling, Clemens and Bonds) will get in in 2021 or 2022 when there is absolutely no one to vote for. Omar (if not elected next year) does have his best chance in these years.

KD said...

Andy used a medication to overcome an injury. Big difference between him and his turd-like friend Clemens, who used medication to enhance performance.

I hate people who classify individuals based upon some act while not considering motivation. This thinking results in imbecilic rules, judgements, and laws, such as a "three strikes you're out" legal system, among other atrocities.

HoraceClarke66 said...

KD, I think you're being a little kind to Pettitte there. From what it sounded like to me, Andy really fell under Clemens' spell on the PEDs.

I don't much like Clemens or Barry Bonds, either. But they were both HOF quality before they ever started juicing, and should get in. So should Halladay.

And I still don't think this whole PEDs thing is really worked out. Right now, it basically stands at, "If you didn't get caught or admit it, then you're in."

I think it's ridiculous, for instance, that all the writers think Piazza was juicing...and gave him a "five-year wait" penalty. WTF?

TheWinWarblist said...

Jeter is number 6 on the all time hits leader board. 6th. Three thousand four hundred sixty five hits. So even if you think he was over-rated and should only be 8th or 9th or even 12th, he's still a first vote 100% vote caliber HoF nominee.

For fuck's sake.



FUCKERS!!!!