Thursday, January 3, 2019

Okay, Mr. Machado, it's time to make the call

Dear Manny,

Ahem...

Uh... sir? Any time now?

I mean, as you can see, we're all kneeling, holding the supplicant pose. It's getting a little painful on the knees, but - hey - no complaints!

That said, if you're waiting for us to give a signal or something, feel free to speak up. Don't wait on us. Any time...

Uh, but if you don't mind, sir, may I ask a question? 

At this stage, what the fuck is going to change your fucking mind about your fucking future team?

Jeez-Louise... you've visited the cities, tried on the hats, flushed the toilets, studied the money and polled your entourage. You've been wined and dined, praised and pimped, had your image projected onto the Jumbo-trons and parked in the special spaces. What else is there? What the fuck are you waiting for? 

With all due respect... sir... it's time to call the cards. If you don't know by now, dear God, will you ever? It's time to tell the world who Manny Machado is. Do you want money? If so, Chicago and Philadelphia seem poised to write the biggest check. If you want old-line mystique, the Yankees are here. If you want to play for the best team in baseball, the Redsocks will answer the phone. Whatever. It's time to jump in the pool. 

Nothing will happen today that will change your mind tomorrow. 

As for me, I sort of hope you choose the Yankees. But if not, we will survive. There is a bigger question in the Yankiverse than who is Manny Machado? Our main question is, who is our owner?

Hal Steinbrenner spent all of 2018 stressing the need to stay below the MLB salary cap/tax threshold because of the incredible "free agent class of 2019." The Yankees didn't even budge at the trade deadline, because the owner kept the payroll below the tax limit. All season, the implication was simple: The Yankees would hold the line in 2018 so they could spend this winter. 

And now... what? Well, Patrick Corbin - raised a Yankee fan, who spent last year suggesting the Bronx would be his next home - came and went. The Yankees wouldn't budge. Thus far, the sum of Yankee extravagance has been to re-sign (for peanuts) CC Sabathia and Brett Gardner, and pull in J.A. Happ on a two-year. 

Now, it's time for us to learn who the fuck our owner is. 

So... the time has come. They're chanting your name at the podium. Walk the walk. We need to know.

11 comments:

JM said...

Wait, we got that other pitcher. The one the Gammonites said will make us a nearly perfect team.

I can't recall his name, but he's obviously the big addition this offseason.

Boy, I can't wait til Spring.

Anonymous said...

That's it - this is the team for 2019
Remember Miguel Andújar was benched in the Last Game - nobody belived that shit
Running for The Wild Card Game again - it is kind of sure thing, but not so exiting

13bit said...

He was benched that last game as the lassitude sank slowly on the dugout like a gigantic - in Duque's happy phrase - "plumber's fart," evoking memories of the infamous Midge Game, in Cleveland, where Joe Torre sat there like a guy with impacted bowels, staring straight ahead and dreaming of a crap to end all craps, a crap big enough to make the industrial MLB toilet bowls explode. I just wanted to see how far I could take that last sentence.

KD said...

what a terrible Hot Stove, especially when one considers what we were told to expect. I truly believed the Yankees would go for it. Now I'm convinced of the opposite. My RAB confidence score has gone down to a "1".

I say, if we get no Manny and no Bryce, LBJ should swing into action. Hal would need to suffer a horrendous public mocking. a mocking that only LBJ can deliver. (But Warblist could contribute some copy, I'm sure.)

Publius said...

From Machado's perspective, how is the Tulo signing anything besides a big fat fuck you? The "we told Manny all about it beforehand" garbage from the front office seals it. Built in excuse for not signing Manny. "Signing Tulo's a good low risk move. Everybody says so. But Manny cried about it and walked." Bullshit. Typical Yankee front office move. Show the talent just how dominant you are by insulting it in public. Happens over and over. Manny should sign with Philly, and will if he has an ounce of self respect. And Harper should go back to DC. The firm of Steinbrenner, Levine, Trost and Cashman deserves to fail.

Anonymous said...

Publius,

The other thing about that was that stupid article about Tulo being told he would be shortstop meaning Manny at third. A position he doesn't want to play. (and for less money!)

I think you are correct. We are being set up for no Machado. I hope you are wrong.

From the NY Post

"If Troy Tulowitzki performs in spring training the way he did during his workout at Long Beach State last month, he could be the Yankees’ starting shortstop to begin the 2019 season — even if they do end up signing Manny Machado."

Here's the death quote: "That’s what the Yankees told Tulowitzki before he agreed to a deal to come to The Bronx..."

And the rest...

"Should the Yankees also get a deal done with Machado — which remains no sure thing, with the Phillies and White Sox still very much in the mix — Machado would play third, with Tulowitzki at short.

What that would mean for the future of Miguel Andujar remains to be seen, but Andujar’s situation would be up in the air with Machado in pinstripes once Gregorius returns."

Doug K.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I think you guys have sussed it out. Either that, or it really is some amateurish attempt to "pressure" Manny, something half the Knight of the Press Box fell for.

It would have been like the Yanks signing Ron Jackson and telling Reggie, "So, big guy, we already HAVE a Jackson for the outfield. Ready to come down off your crazy demands? Wait, whattaya mean you're catching the next flight to L.A.? Wait, let's talk—"

Ah, me. There is nothing worse than the machinations of people who think they are much more clever than they really are.

13bit said...

I'm with you, Publius.

TheWinWarblist said...

I love you all, especially you Bitty. And I'm all in on the nuclear option on this one. The Yankees spend like King George is still in charge or Boycott.

TheWinWarblist said...

That's the new site banner by the way: The Yankees spend money like King George is still in charge or Boycott.

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