THE WRONG EARTH, written by Mustang and published by El Duque, is out now!

Sunday, January 20, 2019

Shed Long? Surely, The Master is smiling

According to the Internet, our fully operational Death Star is trading all 50 shades of Sonny Gray to Cincinnati, Ohio, for 22-year-old 2B Shed Long, a supplemental draft pick and somebody or some thing to be named later. Let's hope it has a pulse.

So, the question of the hour: Who is Shed Long?

Shedric Bernard Long is a fireplug 2B - just 5'8," 180 lbs - who turned pro five years ago as a catcher. Last year in Double A, he hit .261 with 12 HRs and a sweet on-base percentage of .353. He stole 19 bases but struck out too often. He bats lefty, which could be a key. He's the 7th ranked prospect in the Reds' system, which itself ranks 6th overall, according to Fangraphs. So if you're into esoteric rankings, he would probably slot into the (21st-ranked) Yankee system around 5th or 6th. He'll likely start 2019 in Scranton, manning the keystone with Tyler Wade. Considering the scrambled eggs Yankee infield, if he can run or hit, he could play a role next fall. 

I love prospects, because they let you dream. Instead of a Pete Kozma or Chase Headley, whose .230 career undermines any hitting streak or big night at the plate, you actually can summon hope. The best moments in this dead decade came with the Yankees unveiling youngsters - Sanchez, Bird, Judge, Sevy, even Austin and Voit. There's no reason why we cannot regularly fortify our farm by jettisoning excess veterans. Trades don't always have to make us older. I hear rich people are now buying young people blood. Why not the Yankees!

A supplemental draft pick is actually a nice little chip, too. The Yankees should draft 36th, just three picks after Boston ends the first round, and seven after their first selection. This gives us three darts in the first two rounds, which - frankly - haven't yielded much in recent years, aside from trades. (We dealt James Kaprielian, Blake Rutherford and Nick Solak.) 

But if you seek closure on So-So Sonny, we're not there yet. To get him two years ago, we sent to Oakland Kaprielian (who hasn't pitched since 2016, due to arm troubles), Jorge Mateo (now 23, who hit .230 last year in Triple A), and Dustin Fowler (24, who, though he hit .224 with the As last year, might be the one that got away.) Of the three, Fowler shows the most promise.

So, who wins these trades? Clearly, John Sterling. Close your eyes and dream... 

"LONG GOES LONG! OH, SHED, THE YANKS ARE AHEAD!" Who knows?

12 comments:

13bit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carl Weitz said...

Even though she has hit the wall, I'd much rather have Shelley Long than Shed.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


The haters were dead wrong: It's another homer by Shed Long!

Long bangs the gong!

Shed Long re-lights the Yanks' dead bong!

Shed long smooths the kink in Hal's red thong!


<sorry>

Anonymous said...

SOME GAMMONITE (MAX WILDENSTEIN), HAS STATED, "CASHMAN HAS TURNED A FAILED STARTER WITH AN ALMOST 5 ERA, INTO A #7 PROSPECT AND ANOTHER MINOR LEAGUER TO BE NAMED. CASH...HAS...DONE...IT..AGAIN!"

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT???

THE GUY TOTALLY FORGOT ALL THE PROSPECTS COOP EXTERMINATED WHEN HE DEALT FOR THE FAILED SONNY!

IN ACTUALITY, WE GOT RID OF 4 OF OUR TOP PROSPECTS, PLUS SONNY GRAY, FOR SHED LONG!

LET THAT SINK IN....

ALL MEDIA NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME....

Anonymous said...

ALL CAPS - Good point. He gave up three prospects to get him so the question no one can answer is what would that package have gotten the Yankees instead of Gray.

It goes back to the Montero/Pineda Lose/lose trade. It's not so much that it didn't work out for either side as who else could Montero have gotten us that might have worked out.


As to the HR call let me try to Shed some light on that... (Sorry - lot of cheap puns in my head these days. I need to get out more.)


... it is gone! Hello Wilbur! (This is based on him acquiring the nickname Mr. Shed. I don't think it will catch on.)

...it is gone! Give him a W.C. Handy for that one! (This is based on the equally far fetched requirement that he takes on the nickname Shedrick The Entertainer.)

I will stop now.

Doug K.

John M said...

News flash from ESPN.com: "Adding Adam Ottavino -- who boasted he'd whiff the Bambino "every time" -- gives the Bombers the best bullpen in the universe."

Remember that the next time they can't hold a four-run lead in the 7th.

As for Shed, there has to be gold for the Master in something like "Shed took that pitch to the woodshed--he spanked it!"

A little kinky around the edges, but it would work pretty well.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


I'm sorry for this, but I am more concerned with How The F the team can "shed" Jacoby Ellsbury.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Great analysis, ALL-CAPS and Doug K. What these deals amount to are, really, complete misreads—physical and/or mental—of Pineda and Gray.

Montero might have got us Cliff Lee—and maybe the 2010 and 2011 rings. Fowler, Mateo, and Kaprielian might have got us Verlander or Cole, and possible titles in 2017 and/or 2018.

Like Duque, I do like rooting for guys like Long, and who knows, maybe he'll be terrific. Then we could move The Gleyber over to short, trade Didi or use him as a back-up, and all will be right with the world.

I doubt it. But at least the kid gives us reason to hope.

Carl Weitz said...

I wouldn't trade Didi. He's a terrific fielder, a left-handed bat with power and hits for a decent average. Clutch, too.

Oh yeah....Fuck the Patriots!

Alphonso said...

Long Duck Dong goes Long Again.

Anonymous said...

THE MASTERS SHED LONG HR CALL?

"HE'S GOT A LOT OF TOOLS IN THE SHED...THAT BALL IS LONG GONE!"

HoraceClarke66 said...

Sadly, we won't have to worry about this.