Saturday, November 8, 2008

Yankeetorial: Give Andy Whatever the Hell He Wants

Open Letter to Hank Steinbrenner:

Dear Madam or Sir,

Our pal, Andy Pettitte, reportedly wants to pitch in 2009.

We say, "Thank the Lord, and sign him!"

Andy is an all-time great Yank, an all-time great man, an all-time great all-time great -- and for those reasons, Mister Moneybags, you should flash the leather of your famous wallet and make cash fly like farts at a Shriner's Convention.

But... the team must not forget -- and nor should Andy -- that after July, our great Avenger of Christ was regularly getting wailed on like a rented mule.

Somewhere in prayer group, you and Andy must reach one agreement:

If Andy starts getting whacked, for the sake of his name, his team and his God, his gotta walk the Hell away.

He's gotta do what his buddy, whazzizname? -- oh, you know, the prince of pepjuice -- had such a hard time doing.

He's gotta retire: Be remembered for the great pitcher he's been, not for the mediocre one he might become.

Do the deal. In Andy we trust.

But have that talk...

1 comment:

She-Fan said...

I agree. They should put a clause in his contract that if he's bad, the Yankees can opt out - immediately.