Problem.
This is getting too intense. The pressure. The stress. I feel like Cool Hand Luke after eating the 50 eggs, (before the salad dressing deal), rising from a night in the box and telling the hambone lug George Kennedy (before he becomes a made-for-TV dork) to, "STOP LIVING OFFFFFFFF MEEEEE." That's what's happening. I'm being forced to make life or death decisions on the snap of a finger (and on vacation, too), and if I mess up, one mistake, it will haunt me for the rest of my life... or worse, we could lose a big ballgame. (Reminder Note: Every ballgame is a big ballgame.)
Dilemma: Last night, on his WinWarble, John cried, and I'm paraphrasing, because the words nearly fried my head and laptop simultaneously: "Ballgame over, Yankees sweep Boston, Yankees win, thuuuh Yankees win."
I'll try to get it up later (I'm talking about the WinWarble; why do you folks have to be so dirty), but the question is: DOES IT COUNT ON THE STERLING INDEX?
If it counts, John Sterling may well have blown a 10.00 WinWarble... but did he cheat? He used verbal supplements. He used artificial enhancements, the kind Bud Selig applies to his head to become smarter and grow hair at the same time.
John may have ruined the integrity of the WinWarble index. It's not fair to the other Warbles.
Was last night's potential all-time WinWarble delivered by the Voice of the Yankees, driven by cheat?
But on the flipside, i f I rule against it, who am I? I'm Stalin. I'm Hitler. I'm that Supreme Leader in Iran. I am censoring art. I am silencing art the work of a great articulator. I will be trying to crush the creative spirit of one the great Yankee radio voices -- one of the two great Yankee radio voices... I will become The Machine, the souless, empty suckhole devourer of souls, and Holy Shit, I'm creeping myself out just writing this.
What now? It's like that last scene, with Cool Hand Luke in the church, and the hounds are coming, (and he doesn't realize that it's going to be the same dark fate a few years later, when he and Sundance will be surrounded by the entire Mexican army, and he still won't get an Oscar), so I'm in that church, nearly vomiting because of the 666 on my head, holding my hairy palms to heaven, praying for a salad dressing or lemonaide recipe, or maybe a talk show deal on Fox, anything, to keep the dog from tearing asunder my tortured soul: Luke and I yell, "What do I do? What in thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh world do I do?"
Well?
Monday, August 10, 2009
Conundrum: Should John's Verbally Enhanced WinWarble Last Night Count?
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13 comments:
The answer, my friend, is blowin in the wind, the answer, is...Put it in the books with an asterisk.*
*By the bye, this was definitely an all-star post, duque.
I say it counts.
We swept Boston. That extra phrase doesn't compare to, say, a PED. It's more like a whipped cream pie in the face of the very idea of heroism.
All star post seconded.
To the point: Was his verbal supplement use careless? Definately, definatley careless, but it helped. It might inflate his numbers but with a sweep on our hands I'm willing to look the other way.
Give it an asterisk...
Did Roger Maris get an asterisk when he hit his 61st in a longer season than the Babe had?
Would you give an asterisk to that phoney mark McGuire if you knew at the time he set a new record for HRs he was juiced?
Or Barry Bonds?
You have to recognize that we are talking apples and oranges here.
There is an entirely different kind of energy, wind control and decibel requirement for the standard warble....that's why it was so difficult for John to hit an "8" level ( and barely )in the last two years!
To jump up to "10" is clearly ludicrous if any variable is considered.
No way does it stand in comparison....that's like saying some dude will have to hit more in a lifetime than Bonds, but is only allowed to eat bulgar and drink carrot juice during his career.
Please git it up asap.
But this gets either an asterisk or nothing at all.
The extra juice he used on the Teixeira home run and bringing back "He's done it again" to the A-Rod home run kind of make up for the long-winded stuff before the warble, but still disappointing, I was expecting at least 10 seconds..
I know it's been a while, but don't forgot that John will add extra phrases like that when the Yankees clinch a postseason series. This doesn't help decide whether this particular WinWarble should count, but you should make a decision on the postseason as well.
"I know it's been a while, but don't forgot that John will add extra phrases like that when the Yankees clinch a postseason series. This doesn't help decide whether this particular WinWarble should count, but you should make a decision on the postseason as well."- John
I was about to post a comment in this nature, but I didn't want to jinx it because the last postseason series that we've won was the ALDS against the Twins in '04, and I want to see another one sometime soon.
However, I think it should stand with no asterisk.
I will NEVER approve of VED's (Verbally Enhanced Dialog)! Would you allow someone in a poker game to swipe a few extra aces from another deck? Would you allow someone to attach an extra stomach so as to win the Annual Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest?
This is not worth even an * - it should be disqualified, or, at the very least, placed in a separate, subordinate category of enhanced WinWarbles
FanSince48
The "warble," as you have recorded them, consists of the entire sentence, no? That is, "The Yankees win" is the consistent unit of measurement, right? Thus you must measure, as Kate said (I think), warbles to warbles. Get it up.
A sentence is a sentence is a sentence. It should go in the books as is. His lungs still had to do the work.
Turns out, I think John knew that he'd broken the rules, so he held back his "thuuuuuh." Classy move by the Master.
Classy move by the Master.
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