Thursday, August 27, 2009

IT IS TIME TO VOTE FOR AUGUST YANKEE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH

A statement from IIH Public Relations Director Howard Rubenstein:

After lengthy discussions with the IIH Executive Panel, the IIH Board of Trustees, the IIH Advisory Committee for Sensitivity Training, and our legal department, IT IS HIGH has ruled that only in the rarest of circumstances can a non-Yankee employee be nominated for Yankee Employee of the Month.

We realize this saddens some voters, but to name a non-employee as Yankee Employee of the Month would not only lower morale, but potentially open the franchise to offer benefit and severance packages.

Thus... NOMINEES FOR AUGUST YANKEE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH:

Hideki Matsui, hitting.
Derek Jeter, leadership
C.C. Sabathia, pitching
Kei Igawa, enhanced trade value
Brian Cashman, obtained Chad Gaudin
Dr. Stuart Hershon, knee-drainer
Damaso Marte, gutsy comeback
Kevin Russo, minor league hitter
Scott Yellin, team massage therapist
Jim Rice, (Honorary) inspirational speaker
Suzyn Waldman, color lady

6 comments:

BernBabyBern said...

No Sterling?

After breaking the once-thought-impossible 8-second Warble barrier?

He nails an 8-point-oh-frickin-two, and SUZYN gets the nomination?

Did you really post the list, Duque, or did Newsday's Neil Best hack into your account?

Anonymous said...

Multiple choice?

adam said...

This might be the first time I vote for a winner in many months... Keep it going, you slandering legend.

el duque said...

It's multiple choice because I feared that team massage therapist Scott Yellin might otherwise not get any votes, and I didn't want hm to be embarrassed. He does a fine job in the clubhouse, working hard on our players, and he does not need to visit our blog and find that he was shut out by unappreciative fans.

adam said...

This might also be the first non-majority winning YEotM? Does that mean we need a run-off election?

SUPERFRANKENSTEIN said...

Or an asterisk.