A Few Observations Before A Perfect Manhattan

In approximatel 43 minutes, I will be sitting at a bar sipping the first of many perfect manhattans and sluicing down a plateful of blue points.

And beer.

So, before I become incoherent and begin text messaging She-Fan for information on her Santa Barbara paradise, I thought I should get a few items off my chest:

1. The mystery of Eric Duncan has been solved.

Many ( read; "all" ) Yankee fans have wondered why this number one pick from Seton Hall Prep never developed into any kind of Yankee prospect.

It turns out, he was beaned by a 93 mph fastball in Trenton 4 years ago. Given that he is only 24 years old, that means he had climbed the prospect ladder pretty well to already be at AA ball at age 20.

Unfortunately, he has never recovered and is pretty much settled in as a .220 hitter with no power and not much range on defense.

But it isn't his fault.

I was beaned by a 45 mph fastball a few years back and look what that did to my prospects.

2. The Yankees are finally getting smart.

Damaso Marte recovered from his arm ailment about 2 months ago, but the Yankees have given him time off to attend to some personal matters.

They have recently extended Damaso's "timeout."

Some personal matters he should consider upon his return, include:

A. His inability to throw strikes when not in the bullpen.
B. His unusual quirk that prevents him from getting either lefties or righties out.
C. His recent dietary ugrade to "sliders and fries."

3. Brett Tomko will not win another game all year.

The Yankees just cannot hit pitchers they have never seen before.