Tuesday, October 15, 2013

No, No, NO, NOOOOOOOO...

Oh, God. It's as if we've been plunged into a time warp - we worm-holed back to 2005, and old George is watching Tony Womack play for the Cardinals, and we're about to make the most pointless signing since Neville Chamberlain autographed appeasement, and here comes the Bubba Crosby/Andy Phillips era! (Actually, no: We should be so lucky; those teams made the playoffs. We're setting the Wayback for 1984, with Danny Tartabull on the horizon.) Dear God, we're like a heroin addict with one chance to get clean, and we're about to take an afternoon stroll in Needle Park, just to see some old dear friends.

Dear God. Carlos Beltran will be 37 next year. Thirty-seven. According to Mark Feinsand's article (Why doesn't Feinsand reveal his sources here; along with the headline proof-reader; they both must be Cashman)  the Yankees would give Beltran a three-year deal. A three year deal. Give me a reason. Give me a pill. Why we would want another old, injury-prone DH/outfielder for three long years - probably at $15 million per? Grant me asylum, Tibet! Calgon Bath Oil Beads, take me away! If there is anything in this world more obvious than the need for the New York Yankees to field a younger lineup, I don't know what it is. I am at a loss to think of it. But here is Feinsand, uncharacteristically toadying to his sources.

Given that Ichiro turns 40 next week, Soriano turns 38 in January and Wells turns 35 in December, using the group in an outfield/DH rotation with Beltran would appear to make plenty of sense.

It makes plenty of sense to Redsock fans. Know what? I bet it makes plenty of sense to Zsa Zsa Gabor, between helpings of creamed corn! Yeah, it's sound logic: Sign the oldest guy you can find, because he had a decent playoff series, and next year,  whenever he's hot, he'll be on the verge of tweaking a gonad, and when he finally loses it - does his Vernon Wells/Andruw Jones/Ichiro/Travis Hafner impersonation - you can be on the dime for him. Oh, and while you're at it, give up your first-round draft pick!  Because who needs rookies? Just sign guys at the last gasps of their careers. Dear God, tell me this isn't happening....

2 comments:

KD said...

This is what happens when you "promise" the "fans" that you'll "put a contender on the field" every season.

we need new ownership. It's that simple.

John M said...

KD is right. New owners, new front office, new manager, new players.

And most important of all, a new stadium. This aging, cramped rust bucket will never do.