Monday, October 14, 2013

Pinstripe Pride and Perjury: Rehearsing for court, Cashman claims he can't wait for Alex Rodriguez to return

Brian Cashman took to the airwaves yesterday to talk about A-Rod and things. Why, he can't wait for Alex to come back! Nothing would give him more joy than to see ol' Numbah Thirteen back on the field!

"Having Alex Rodriguez man third base is obviously by far the best option for the Yankees."

"It comes down to, would we want the player we signed to be playing that position without any problems? Absolutely, no question about that."

  "I think that if people think there's some sort of benefit by losing that talent, I mean, it's not easy."

 Presumably, the lawsuits between Alex, MLB and the Yankee team doctor will be settled out of court. If not, though, Cashman can practice his future testimony on the radio. Alex Rodriguez? Hmm. Can't say as I know the man. Does he play soccer?


John M said...

I think Cashman told the truth, albeit in a lawyerly, listen-carefully-to-every-word-I-say, Caveat Central kind of way. (That's the new channel way up the digital cable box, where everything is very, very carefully worded so you have to pay close attention all the time. It helps stave off Alzheimer's.)

Cash would love to have the Rod on his staff (Psalms 9:14 or something) 'without any of the controversies' or 'problems.' In other words, if he could have A-Rod without any of the baggage that comes with A-Rod, he'd be a happy little Laziked gnome. When you parse what he means, he's saying he doesn't want A-Rod back with the PED crap, and the lawsuit crap, and the kissing the mirror crap, and the beaver shooting during playoff games crap, the bad hips crap, and all the other crap that comes with A-Rod.

Ipso facto, ergo, corpus delecti...he doesn't want THIS A-Rod back. He wants the Bizarro A-Rod, the one that acts completely the opposite of this one but is still Superman on the field.

Me no have this A-Rod. Me put mitt in toaster and eat supper for breakfast, yum!

Auntie Em Rodriguez, watching worms turning, said...

I've got these bastards right where I want 'em; who should shut the fuck up NOW?

KD said...

I used to think President Clinton was the master of the parsed phrase.