Friday, October 18, 2013

The Yankees' Idea Of Change

As Hal and Hank sit across the table from Brian, they look aggressively to the future.

"In summary, then," offers Hal ( at left ) "we have already made the following moves to strengthen the franchise in 2014" :

1.  Re- signed Joe to 4 more years
 2.  Just re-signed Larry Rothschild
                                            3.  Are looking at Robbie and $300-$600 million for 10 years
                                               4.  Have our eyes on Carlos Beltran, soon to be 39, for 3 years
                                                       5.  Now like the idea of Joe Nathan ( already 39 ) as our new closer

"Exactly," says Hank.  " Dad would be proud.  What's for dinner?"

                                                       These eyes are blind to reality.

                                                        This is not what the Yankees need.

                                                        This is not what the fans want.

                                                         This is change for the worse.


John DeLorean, fellow traveler and Art Fowler devotee, said...

I know he has World Series rings. I have no doubt he knows pitching and how to improve it a vast majority of percentage points more than I could ever hope to. I despise the use of scapegoats, too, and if what I say hereafter seems cloddish then please ban me from the site...otherwise, could someone with a more-than-hefty-bag-belt in the Yankee martial arts universe please give me some reason to be happy that I'll get to see Larry Rothschild next year?

I can't think of a single time the mention or sight of him has inspired confidence; whether The Master or his YES non-salad-eating agree-to-disagree-ers say the words, it always feels the same: This isn't gonna be good.

To me the retention of Larry is...I want to say, "like gathering only the alpha fire ants to drop on my junk". But at least that would mean something. Many things, actually, and all of them terrible. But something.

But fuck it. Have some brie for me, boys, and raise a glass to Charlotte Witkind or Jim Ogle or somebody. And yeah: congrats on the stability.

John M said...

The loons on the beyond right think the Rothschilds control the financial world with evil intent. Have they branched out to the world of Yankee pitching? Conspiracy theorists shudder at the thought.

Anonymous said...

You are an ignoramus, John. A profoundly tedious ignoramus.

Ross Perot, just back the hourly haircut, said...

Coming from you, Anonymous, that's special.

Thing 1 said...

Post by anonymous was not me.

Thing 2 said...

me neither.