Saturday, December 7, 2013

Tooooooo bad: Not enough Ribbies for Robbie to ever crack the top Yankees 15

He comes in behind Wally Pipp. 
Somehow, that makes me smile.


Ritchie Valens said...

Oooh! My head!

Anonymous said...

YOU care about where Cano stands in the Yankee all-time RBI annals. Cano cares only where he stands in the Yankee all-time contract annals--number 3 at this point.

Your vindictive smile seems to be directed to a baseball player, not to a mercenary. You have the wrong man here.

Anonymous said...

Correction--the all-time MLB contract annals--not number three, but certainly in the top fifteen. And certainly in the top three of current and ex-Yankees.

KD said...

History will record that Mr. Cano was an excellent they Ineyrilplayer, but a great Yankee? No way. He will be a Yankee footnote in 50 years time. No more than a signed ball in the Museum and nothing in Monument Park. Nothing at all. He could have been a historic, great Yankee but he traded it for a pile of play money given by a "over-rated" (who can forget that taunt?) team in the isolated Northwest. Sad.

Leinstery said...

No seriously, who is this anonymous guy that isn't smart enough to understand that everything on this blog is based in some form of sarcasm?

Anonymous said...

No seriously, who is this Leinstery guy who doesn't understand that 90 percent of this blog flows from very earnest, heartfelt Yankee fandom, with only an occasional overly of sarcasm by el duque to ease the pain? There is not a glint of sarcasm in alphonso's posts, and sometimes barely a scintilla in el duque's. These are breast-beating, unvarnished, throbbing. all-or-nothing Yankee fans, as are 90 percent of the commenters.

Then there's the occasional snarling sociopath like Leinstery, who cares nothing about baseball or anything else but hunching over his screen for long days at a time, anxiously awaiting the ripe moment to pounce to scratch an itch of spite--most likely sitting alone in a darkened room in soiled underwear.


Leinstery said...

lololololol. look at everything on the side of the page and tell me that 90% of it is serious. I pray that you are in-fact a character because you are tremendous at it.

If not, take a lap.

Anonymous said...

First of all, only pathological loner/idiots like you--and twelve-year-old girls--sit at a keyboard endlessly retyping lol. And here's some additional evidence that you're an idiot: in another thread you introduce us to the word "reassurement"--I guess you were absent from sixth-grade English on the day the word "reassurance" was taught. And above: "Who is this anonymous guy that doesn't . . . " I guess you were also absent from school on the day in the fourth-grade when the lesson was the proper use of personal pronouns, such as WHO. But don't worry--I won't deploy your cherished sarcasm against such a soft, ripe target of illiteracy and stupidity. That would be gratuitously cruel.

As for the fandom of el duque (Hart Seely) and others:

I have about a ton of Yankee stuff – I mean debris, detritus, crapola! But I cannot bring myself to catalogue it or bring order unto its chaos. We’re talking piles, haystacks, mounds. Someday, after I’m dust, some reality TV picker show will have a field day going through my office. They’ll need a backhoe.

I have one autographed ball from Rizzuto and one from Joe Torre, which Alphonso – a main character in the book, as you know – somehow wrangled; he gave it to me last Christmas. I have manila envelopes stuffed with autographed pictures and postcards from the Scooter, who always included signed glossies when we exchanged letters (a couple of which are framed.) I’ve got old Yankee programs, picked up at garage sales. In fact, they hover over my desk right now, threatening to topple onto the keyboard where I am typing. Yankee things come my way, and even though I consider myself a misery bastard when it comes to keeping memorabilia, I don’t throw out Yankee stuff.
Seely: What is human history, but the poor, graceless masses who worship the physically gifted – be they brutes or beauties. While they dazzle us, as our heroes, the connivers make off with all the money and the power. This goes back to ancient times. It will never change. That doesn’t mean you quit hoping, or trying, or even fighting. But good grief, in your spare time, it’s OK to be a Koch brother. It’s OK to sit in your pitching chair and root for your team. At least if the Yankees don’t win, we’ll run out and sign somebody. It’s the best free deal capitalism will give you. All you have to do is believe.

If you think el duque and alphonso are just snide ironists who don't really care about the Yankees or baseball, you're clearly suffering from a severe cognitive deficit that goes far beyond mere grammatical deficiency--more like wholesale emotional and intellectual tone-deafness. The humor and flecks or irony help to leaven the pain of being a fan--they do not eclipse the sincere feeling that animates a site like this. If you don't believe me, as el duque himself--I doubt that he would dismiss this entire enterprise and his life as a fan as a sophomoric prank, even if you're dumb enough to mistake it for that.

So we've settled that issue. As for your appalling overall stupidity, I'm afraid I can offer
you nor reassurement.

Anonymous said...

make that "no reassurement." I don't typically sit around proofreading my responses to morons.

Leinstery said...

12 year old girls type "bahahaha" and pathological loners don't laugh. Also, only crazy homeless people shit their pants. And crazy homeless people don't have computers. Anyways (said in Sterling voice and style) you're a silly goose.

Hog City said...

Is this anonymous guy a queer or something? Do you own a personalized fleshlight of Thurman Munson's butthole that you break out for special Saturday nights when your mother goes to visit Lamar?

el duque said...

Easy, guys, easy...

This is what happens when the Yankees lose. We turn on each other.

The enemy is out there, boys. It's not in here.

Leinstery said...

Yes El Duque. I think you need to post Sterling singing "Santa Clause is coming to town" to clear the air.

But be wary about believing the only enemies are outside of the organization. Who betrayed Queen Suzyn? The Red Sox didn't.

Anonymous said...

el duque:

This isn't just a food fight. One poster alone--this doorstop Lienstery--posted a gratuitously nasty message that not only verbally assaults another perfectly decorous poster but also perversely garbles the tone and intent and animating spirit of this Web site, which Leinstery idiotically misreads as a callow jape, rather than what it is: a free-form foray into the very real pains and joys and absurdities of baseball fandom in general and Yankee fandom in particular. In the interests of fairness--and to clarify your intentions to idiots like Leinstery--you really ought to make clear which one of is doing justice to your intentions.

And, in my opinion, homophobic pustulence of the sort that emanates from the diseased psyches of people like Hog City (probably Leinstery under another name) should be deleted forthwith, along with other kinds of gratuitous, nasty personal attacks--such as the one from Leinstery that instigated this exchange.

With some judicious intervention, you can prevent this site from becoming a lightning rod for psychopathy.

Hog City said...

I'm fairly sure "pustulence" is not a word. You're a paranoid man if you think Leinstery and Hog City are one person

Anonymous said...

1. pustulence

"Pustulence" is a combination of 2 words (like "smog" is from "smoke" and "fog"). "Pestilence" (a devastating epidemic disease) plus "Pustulation" (the state of having pustules - pus-producing elevations of the skin).

In David Lynch's Dune, Baron Vladimir Harkonnen found pleasure in his own pustulence.

Anonymous said...

el duque--
Are you really going to leave Hog City's diseased spew of homophobia on this site? If someone had heaped comparable sickening abuse on an African American or Jew, would you leave the post intact? By failing to delete such posts, you are offering tacit encouragement for this kind of thing. What would the managing editor of your newspaper, or your editor at the New Yorker, or your book publisher think if any of them were aware that you countenanced such diseased bigotry on your site?

There are serious issues beyond baseball--and occasionally one of them is bound to permeate this site. Here is an instance where you are conscience-bound to act.

If not, perhaps Leinstery is right--perhaps this site is merely a sophomoric jape with no connection to any deeper layers of human thought or feeling.

If Hog City's post is still up on this site tomorrow, we'll have our answer--and so will your editors.

Anonymous said...

Leistery/Hog City:

You are a festering wound, a suppurating subhuman infection. You revel in bigotry and malice. You are incorrigibly stupid. Your very being is a sickening miscarriage of the human form--the kind of person who would gang up on a gay man or homeless person for kicks. Dogs or cats are far nobler, higher life forms than you. A nematode is higher on the food chain than you, because it does not rejoice in bigotry and hatred.

I'm sure your parents are very proud of you.

There are exactly two things you can do to help yourself and the human race: get some professional help. But you are probably beyond help--so I suggest that you just leap off the nearest high bridge. Your subtraction would be an addition for the human race.

Anonymous said...

el duque--
If you do not delete Hog City's foul bigotry from this thread, I am going to raise this issue in every thread until you clarify your policy on the limits--if any--that you place on acceptable posting on this list. WHere do you draw the line? Is there one, anywhere? If someone started posting links to the Web site of a neo-Nazi group, would you leave those intact as well?

I won't let you evade your responsibility here. You can natter on all day about Brett Gardner and other frivolities and feel that you are a civilized human being, but until you address this issue, you are not.

I am not gay, but I am quite sure that any form of bigotry should have no place on this list. If you are indifferent to this issue, than please let us know explicitly. No more hiding or evasion, please.

el duque said...

Listen: If you want to fight the fight, then fight the fight. But I don't delete these things. For better or worse, these threads are a snapshot of how we are. And I've found when you delete things, people's imaginations run wild.

Fight the fight. And if you are the same anonymous (they're right, you know, you need a better fake name) I do appreciate that you read the Rumpus interview. I was blathering full tilt on that, eh?