Friday, Bernie Williams will step to the podium and announce his retirement. Not from music. From baseball. It's a joke, get it? Bernie has never officially announced his retirement. So Friday, he will. Cue the laugh track, everybody. The Yankees are chasing a headline.
Right now, the Yankees are a .500 team in a sports universe where .500 is the absolute worst place to be. To go anywhere, a franchise needs to be really good... or really bad. To be middle of the pack means finishing three games out of the away-game Wild Card niche, and then losing next summer's first-round draft pick because you signed Carlos Beltran. It doesn't get any worse than to be .500. Ask the Redsocks.
Bernie will retire Friday.
If only it could be Hal.