Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Envisioning the long-overdue John Sterling National Monument


Now that the fund-raising effort is underway, it's time to conceptualize the Monument. I'm setting $100 million as baseline budget, and I'm thinking it needs to be outside the bustling NYC corridor, so visitors can experience a more personal and Zen-like event. Proposals are already arriving each day. Some of the leading contenders:

The 100 Mile-Wide Sterling Sand Sculpture
(can be viewed from outer space)
Visitors can hike, bike or ride golf carts
across 250 square miles of desert sand,
which has been spray-freshened and sculpted
into The Master's profile. Don't want to walk?
See it in your own
 rented gondola! 
You'll be high, you'll be far,
You'll be... Sterlinged! 


Young Mount Sterling

Carved into a mystical Catskill mountainside,
the young Master and his friends,

George "Steinbrenner" Washington,
Ted "Lilly" Roosevelt, and Abraham Almonte,
watch over 
Grossingers. 


Ol' Mount Sterling
Between George and Teddy, The Master
seems to be warbling a great win,
while Abe looks on solemnly,
unable to process the "Yankee victory."


The Sterling Monument

This roadside attraction, describing a false
Confederate background for the Master,
 
will delight white-supremacists and neo-Nazis galore!
Take that, snowflakes!


Sterling World
 Museum, Hotel & Convention Center
Syracuse, NY

Shop in the mall, luxuriate in the healing waters
of Onondaga Lake (burn unit 2 miles away)
and glimpse the magical majesty of Syracuse, NY,
birthplace of the ATM!
Sterling World is also the headquarters
of IT IS HIGH!


6 comments:

Urban Farmer formerly known as DutchFan said...

Referring to my comment 1 topic ago, I think this is all too old fashion. This is not honoring the voice. The Master is in our ears, not our eyes.

KD said...

Hmmmmm... made me laugh but you're not there yet. need to cast a wider net. as for location, I'm not sure about the memorial but there certainly ought to be monuments at the Hebrew Home in Riverdale and at every Jeep dealership worldwide.

Leinstery said...

I'm going to suggest a route in line with what Dutch proposed.

John Sterling University. It's a school devoted to radio broadcasting and John's other passion, Broadway musicals. It's objective is to craft all future broadcasters into doing games just like John. Missing pitches, calling balls hit to left field as hit to center, dozens of live ad reads, homerun calls, warbles, and of course falling in love with a lovely co-host.

Alphonso said...

How about on the site of the " Burning Man " festival?

Anonymous said...


Add the following interactives

The Sunoco Broadcasters Booth

Enter a replica of the Sunoco Booth and match yourself against the master...

1) The Warbler

On a screen we see the final out. The timer starts. Guests are invited to give their best Thhhhhhheeeeee Yannnkeeees win. A scoreboard compares their warbles to other guests and of course the master himself. MP3’s of your warble are available in the Sunoco Booth Gift Shop.

2)The Sponsorship Challenge. Guests are given 10 sponsors and have to work them into a two minute simulated broadcast. MP3s available for purchase.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

The Hall of Lesser Voices

Much like Disney's Hall of Presidents, the Hall of Lesser Voices uses animatronic figures to bring some Yankee announcer semi greats back to life. Listening to them and their lack of memorable catch phrases merely reaffirms the greatness that is John Sterling. Proposed semi lifelike announcers include:

Frank Messer
Dom Valinitino (The original Tino!)
Fran Healy
Jay Johnstone
Bill White and yeah I'll say it...
Suzyn Walman

By the way in doing research for this I discovered that the Spanish play by play guy is named Rickie Ricardo. Does that mean his color guy is Alfredo Mertz?

Just askin'

Doug K.