Saturday, November 11, 2017

The Japanese Babe Ruth could mean a godsend: The six-man Yankee rotation

The Yankiverse is so hot for Shohei Otani that John Sterling is surely, as we speak, auditioning homer-hollers in his shower. "Oh my, Shohei! Otani's uncanny!" Imagine this: In one swoop, we add a shutdown pitcher/solid DH to the Judge/Didi/Sanchez/Bird lineup and win the AL East by - NO, NO, NO! I CAN'T DO THIS. My brain just went Aaron Hernandez. Too good to be true. Won't happen. He'll tweak a gonad. He'll sign elsewhere. His boat will sink. He'll get bitten by a raccoon. FORGET THIS, EVERYBODY, NOW... FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! 

Remember Yoan Moncada? Sure you do. HE was going to sign with us, wasn't he? Everybody said so. Done deal. Then, one day, Boston outbid us - that's when we started calling Hal "Food Stamps" - while we talked of Zolio Almonte. Later, they converted him into Chris Sale. Remember how the Yankees later blamed Felix "the Gardner" Lopez, Jessica's ex? It didn't matter. We blew it then, we'll blow it now. Somebody will use the wrong fork, offend him, and he'll run to Milwaukee. Don't get your hopes up, just because Cooperstown Cashman friended him on Facebook. Think of Yoan Moncada and steel yourself for the oncoming pain. DO NOT FALL INTO THE TRAP OF HOPE! SHOW DISCIPLINE, DAMMIT! UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD WE - IN ANY WAY - IMAGINE ONE SCINTILLA OF THIS FELLOW - THE JAPANESE BABE RUTH - EVER APPEARING IN PINSTRIPES. 

IT. WON'T. HAPPEN! 

But - then again, Gee Willikers, Mr. Wizard! - what if it does! Think this...

If we sign this guy, we could implement the kind of generational breakthrough that alters the future of the game. Yes, I'm talking about the six-man rotation. Stay with me here, because this require deep thought. In Japan, pitchers go roughly once a week. When they come to America, they must change their routines. Sometimes, it works; sometimes, no. But Otani will be an outlier: He'd DH for us on selected off-days. Thus, we could run him ragged by cramming into the regular five-man rotation. 

The answer: Go six. First, it would help Masahiro Tanaka, who has done better with extra rest. (In 2016, the difference at one stretch was dramatic: a 5.33 ERA on four days rest, and a 1.70 ERA on five or more.) 

Severino? He's a bulldog, for sure, but the guy just threw 193 innings - one year after throwing 71. We need to safeguard our investment. We cannot afford to run him up to 220 next year. 

CC? Well, assuming he returns, he must change his ways. He's used to four days, and it might be a problem. But at his age, a reduced load has to help. It's not as if the guy has made it through a full season recently without hitting the DL. It makes sense.

Jordan Montgomery is too young to be defined by a four-day routine. 


Sonny Gray? He might see conniptions. My earnest response: Who gives a lick? Chance Adams and Justin Sheffield - or some looming Trentonian - could take his slot anyway.

And baby makes six! Moreover, it would give Otani more at bats between starts. I figure he can rest on days after starts, or maybe before. It's a crap shoot, depending on how he does. 

Listen: Otani could save our young arms through an extended season - hell, through the wonder years of their careers. It can set us up for the post-season that ends on Halloween rather than October 4. The Yankees could find themselves with a huge elemental advantage, and serve as the vanguard of a fundamental change in modern baseball. 

Unless we blow it. Which, of course, will happen. YOANNNN MONNNNCADA! SLOOOOOWLY I TURN... STEP BY STEP, I CREPT UP TO HIM...

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

YES.

I DON'T KNOW WHY TEAMS ALL SEEM TO BE FIGHTING THE 6 MAN ROTATION....

THOUGH, IT SURE LOOKS LIKE THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE WITH ALL THESE PITCH LIMITS, AND INJURIES.

I WANT TO HEED YOUR ADVICE AND SAY WE WON'T GET OTANI....

.....BUT THERE IS ONE HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOAN MONCADA (SORRY), AND SHOHEI OTANI.

BIG MONEY COMING OFF THE BOOKS.

PLUS, POSTING EARLIER AT THIS YOUNG AGE, IS DEEMED A HUGE DISCOUNT FOR ANYONE THAT SIGNS HIM.

WE ALL KNOW HOW "FOOD STAMPS" AND "COOPERSTOWN" LOVE A GOOD DEAL, RIGHT?

THINK ABOUT THIS.

IF WE GET THIS GUY, (AT A BARGAIN PRICE), AND HE CAN BE AN IMPACT LEFT HANDED HITTER - GUESS WHO WE WON'T NEED IN 2019, TO THE TUNE OF $400 MILLION?

BRYCE.

SO, IN ESSENCE, WE WILL BE SAVING A BOATLOAD OF MONEY ON A LEFTY BAT, AND GETTING A HIGHLY COVETED STARTING PITCHER TO BOOT!

I SAY, THIS IS THE MOVE THEY MUST MAKE.

LETS SEE IF THEY HAVE THE "VISION" FOR YEARS I KEEP SAYING THEY DON'T HAVE.

13bit said...

Where is Carl Pavano these days? Just wondering...

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Sitting on a custom-made, memory foam toilet seat?

I'm Bill White said...

I like to think that John Sterling doesn’t take showers. He strikes me as the kind of man that draws a hot bath. And I like to think that he is an efficient man. I like to think that a lot. That he takes care of business on the toilet while the tub fills with hot water. Water too hot to touch, really. But the water cools while he sits, Sterling’s pendulous gonads pulled earthward by nine decades of gravitational forces, they dawdle, suspended just barely above the water’s edge. (Sometimes closer, especially on “high volume” days). Men much younger (boys, really) might worry about tweaking a gonad when they hang so low, but John’s never let fear define how he lives his life. I see a rotary phone within arm’s reach, the knotty cord stretched and contorted by countless takeout orders gone by. (I said John is efficient). Yes, I like to think.

Moeteef said...

Damn, this is good stuff.

KD said...

To think I almost decided not to check in today...

Moeteef said...

It’s like an extended William Carlos Williams poem.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


. . . he hits, he pitches-- but --can he manage?

I presume the answer is YES, and this pending Otani signing is the reason the managerial picture is so freaking muddy.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

@ I'm Bill White,
I nominate your contibution as THE COMMENT of the post season, WOW> LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KD said...

A wonderful and brilliant omage to The Master.