Thursday, November 30, 2017

New Idea For Manager

The Yankees should hire a Japanese manager ;



I don't pretend to know this dude.   He represents the concept I am now advocating.

Clearly, they have championship teams in Japan, with highly effective men ( and possibly women ) managing them.

We should get one.  Why, you ask?

1.  It will assure that the Yankees get that guy everyone is talking about.  The latest Babe Ruth ( hit and pitch) of that nation.

2.  We have fine history with Japanese players ( Hideki, Mitsubishi, Irabu, Honda, Yakitori and that lefty with the dental problem ( Igawa )....he never worked out. ).

3.  All the non Japanese Yankee players could then hire translators to walk around with them.  Conferences at the mound could involve up to 10 individuals, not including the umpire and his translator. This would expose the entire Yankee franchise to multi -language literacy.  Play games and learn words.

3-A.  Dugouts would be expanded for extra seating.  Pumpkin seeds would be replaced with dried seaweed pellets, for spitting.  A healthy exchange.

3-B.  Job creation.  The spanish speaking players would need Spanish/Japanese translators, the Dutch guys would need Dutch/ Japanese translators...you get the idea.  A conversation on the mound about the possibility of the next batter bunting could be like a UN discussion on limo parking spaces.

4.  Imagine the humor in watching a ranting manager arguing an umpire's call.  The manager yells...the umpire turns to his translator....the translator cogitates and then responds ...and that translation is passed back to the manager....  who then turns to his english translator.....etc. Fans would either get on screen translations of the dialogue, because we aren't going to be able to read lips for the curse words ( on screen closed captions could be an MLB enhancement feature for $9.99 a month ),  or simply judge the direction and tone of arguments via facial expressions, and how much disrespect is shown through dirt kicking or lack of bowing.

5.  Mis-translations would be hilarious.  There used to be an advertisement  from Pepsi ( " Come alive with Pepsi."  When that was translated into Japanese and displayed on a billboard in Japan, the reading was, " Pepsi brings you back from the dead."  So an argument about throwing at a batter's head could become, " he has a big head."  It would be a modern version of Alphonse ( no relation ) and Gaston.

6.  Duque could write a new book by capturing the dialogue and " just miss" translations.  Mustang could render a new comic book series.  Baseball fans in two countries would love it.

I would give up my season's tickets to hear the interview of potential candidates with Brian Cashman.

Seriously, we need to do something.  Why not this?


5 comments:

13bit said...

This is the greatest idea since sliced udon noodles.

Anonymous said...

HOW IS IT THAT TYLER WADE IS STANDING BEHIND THE OLD JAPANESE MANAGER IN THE PICTURE???

Alphonso said...

You are looking at the future. And so is he.

JM said...

What?? Pepsi doesn't really bring you back from the dead?

Goddamn it.

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