Congratulations, Bobby Abreu

A hundred Arby-eyes!

Hooray.


Imagine... 100 RBIs...

Batting third in a lineup behind Johnny Damon and Derek Jeter...

In front of Alex Rodriguez and Jason Giambi...

Going basically the whole season, without injury...

With 10 percent of the RBIs coming in meaningless games.


A hundred Arby-eyes.


Sorry, comrades. Hate to be a sourpuss, but in that lineup, Bea Arthur would drive in 60.


Don't get me wrong: This wretched season is not Bobby Abreu's fault. He's got the winning smile. He's serviceable. With the exception of his walliphobia, he always plays hard.

Back in Philly, they ridiculed him as "the Tin Man," saying he had no heart. Well, they were wrong. He is a good man.


But Philly sure hasn't missed him, and they peddled him to us for next to nothing.


His skills are eroding, and he looks more like Kiki Garcia every day.


A hundred RBIs. Congratulations, Bobby Abreu.


Good night and good luck.