Friday, September 12, 2008

Open Letter to the Yankiverse: Let a Champion Close the Stadium

Dear Madam or Sir,


There is seething resentment out there -- yes, I have participated in this -- concerning the 2008 Yankee team's involvement -- or lack of it -- in the honoring of Yankee Stadium.



Currently, the final game will be played next week against the Baltimore Orioles, or somebody. (To honor the current presidential campaign, I shall not concern myself with petty fact, when comfortable certainty is available.)



The Yankees do not deserve to close Yankee Stadium.



They are not worthy.



I propose this change:



THE NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS... CURRENT CHAMPIONS OF THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE... SHOULD SWITCH ONE OF THEIR HOME GAMES IN OCTOBER FROM THE MEADOWLANDS TO YANKEE STADIUM.



NOT ONLY WOULD THIS ENERGIZE NEW YORK CITY, BUT IT WOULD EXORCIZE THE GROUNDS FROM THE SPIRIT OF THIS CURRENT, WIN-CHALLENGED GROUP.

THIS SHOULD BE DONE IMMEDIATELY, SO TICKET HOLDERS, GROUNDSCREWS, POLICE AND CITY OFFICIALS CAN MAKE THE CHANGE.



I recognize that this is unlikely.

To honor the current presidential campaign, I hereby propose it.

7 comments:

Alibi Ike said...

If the Giants aren't available, how about the US Men's Swim Relay team? The four of them vs the Yankees might be a fair contest.

BernBabyBern said...

No offense, Duque, but's a baseball stadium, not a football stadium.

Might as well have that silly hockey game.

Of course, the idea of the Stadium being closed by Brett Gardner looking at a called third strike (his hobby) isn't all that appealing, either.

Bill Dontahue said...

What's the Pope doing? Oh, he's an ex-Nazi. That wouldn't fly in Hymietown. Forget it.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Torre can bring his new team over for a quick exhibition.

Mike said...

It was good enough for the Giants for 20 years. I wonder if they could be persuaded to play the Yankees in a doubleheader: first the Giants beat them at baseball, then the Giants beat them at football (hopefully while dealing some career-ending injuries to some of our more egregious wastes of roster space)

Anonymous said...

grEat idea.

SO IS GARGLING RAZOR BLADES, VICODIN AND POTATO VODKA!

FOOLS

Crazy Guggenheim said...

Potato Vodka ROOOLZ!