Alphonos Readies HImself for New Economy

"I've cashed in all my Lehman stock, my AIG
warrants, my Wachovia CDOs and I'm heading for Spring Training in Latin America.

I'll drive down through Mexico and catch a ferry to someplace. I figure when it is winter here, it'll be spring in Chile or Venezuela or Bolivia, and I can have a concession stand at any of the local spring training facilities.

My broker told me to be in commodities, so I bought oranges. I was going to sell them at SU football games this Fall, but most SU fans seem to be in sour moods and unwilling to spend.

I hear that Bolivia has a pitcher who stands 7'2" and weighs more than CC Sabathia. His fastball is at 116 mph on a local radar gun. If he has command and control, I'll sign him for the Yankees and get a commission.

It is all part of my ritual preparing me for the next great year of the Yankees.