10 possible reasons we lost, which the media is hiding

1. Pope had cast removed from wrist, immediately launched prayer assault.

2. Arod & Kate: Lovers' spat?

3. Team couldn't handle idea of pitcher named "Fister."

4. John's lungs needed rest from WinWarbles.

5. Mariners are bunch of really nice guys.

6. Joba took last-minute call from Mom, begging that he pitch poorly.

7. Team torn apart over proposed Obama health care plans.

8. Club gearing up to face Brett Tomko tonight.

9. Doctors drained wrong knee of Hideki Matsui.

10. Bud "$18 million per year" Selig wants a pennant race.