It's a sad day when the radio voice of a certain team, driven by a certain car named Jeep, doesn't even summon the bile to belch a 6.00+ WinWarble, following the year's first drubbing over a certain arch rival.
But glorioski: That's what the Yankiverse experienced last night, when John Sterling rendered unto the night skies of Gotham a mere 5.19- second Warble, a yeowl more befitting of a mid-April victory over Kansas City.
What an insult! What a put down! This is like sending Jessica Simpson a membership in the Pizza of the Month club. Like visiting Utica and not even mentioning Annette Funicello. Like going to Hershey and eating Nestles. Like holding out your right hand to shake the Pope's broken wrist. Like... ohhhh... this is bad. This is Woody Allen schtupping his daughter-in-law (or whatever that relationship was) bad.
I can only hope that owner John Henry, Boston's greatest ladies man since Albert de Salvo, had squirreled away an extra 500 mg of Viagra (to top his regular 48-hour Cialis jag) to get through the night with his wife, Dakota Fanning.
A 5.19 WinWarble. Over Boston. The nastiest thing John Sterling ever did.
Friday, August 7, 2009
John disses the Redsocks with sub-6.00 WinWarble
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6 comments:
5.19? That couldn't be more than 2.
Annette Funicello? I'm originally from Utica and I have no idea who that is... Utica = Saranac, Riggies, Greens & Salt Potatoes. No famous person outside of Ed Hanna (the boy rapist) has come from Utica have they?
As for John, maybe it was all the walks - the four hours of walks?
Good point, Geofredo. Those walks -- to which he referred 9,000 times -- made the win feel like a loss to John. He resented having to warble at all.
If this painful incident teaches Yankee pitchers not to walk batters, it will have been worth it.
From the Wikipedia entry on Annette Funicello, I quote:
"Born in Utica, New York to Italian-Americans Joseph and Virginia Funicello, she took dancing and music lessons as a child to try to overcome shyness. Her family moved to Southern California when she was four years old.[2]"
Geofredo, how close were you to Mayor Hanna, anyway?
I heard some feeling in those 5.19 seconds, but maybe the lopsidedness of the score and the 12 walks ("a manager's worst nightmare") held him back. And remember, it's August - the traditional dog days for announcers. Clearly, JS is going to need at least a Mariano save to get back above 7 seconds and challenge the 2009 season record.
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