Who Started Last Night? Let Me Deduce.

I've been down in South Mexico trying to sell some property to the poppy growers, so we can raise funds to buy a water cooler for our South Mexican Dirt field League champions to be.

Bern Baby stopped by the Cantina on Monday and, when I last looked, he was still at the bar. The man is now very popular with the ladies and has spent his entire vacation stash on Hera Dura Anejo.

But I digress.

We don't get newspapers down here and we have limited TV coverage, but I did see a scroll last night on the BBC channel how the Yanks had a 4 run lead early, in the opening game of their home stand.

Around noon today, one of the fruit pickers came came in with a radio to his ear and told me that before he passed out, the Rangers ( the only team covered at all down here ) were up 7-4 or 7-5 by the end of the fourth inning.

So, I had some tequila shots and got out my pad and pencil.

Who is it, I asked myself , that gives up tons of runs early, can't hold a lead, goes 0-2 on most batters and ends up walking them, uses 106 pitches by inning 5 at the latest, and should not be a starter?

I bet three bushels of freshly picked corn against a pick-up truck of onions it was JOBA.

Please send a telex if I'm right.

I still don't know if we won or lost. I only care about the onions.