Jeez Montero bashedeth two HRs Tuesday night, both opposite field miracles, in the above-ground diamond mine located in the Anthracite Capital of the World -- yea unto Scranton! -- alternative home to Dwight Shrute and Vice President Joe Bite-Me!
Tonight, 3 for 3 with a double. Since the all-star break, he's batting .524.
In fact, ever since we betrayed Jesus in a trade -- only to have the deal scuttled by a large, bearded Voice from Heaven, which almost perfectly coincided with the calling of George Steinbrenner to meet his maker -- Montero has ascendedeth onto a team-saving tear: 4 homers, a flock of base hits and he's been driving in runners like money-changers from a temple.