Five questions that will haunt us in the second half

1. What if instead of being "the Voice of God," Bob Sheppard was actually God, and now that He's gone, we'll never win another game?

2. What if Kei Igawa, the all-time winningest pitcher in the history of not only Scranton but Wilkes Barre, had long ago put some sort of Japanese zen-voodoo-hex on the Yankees, because they won't promote him, and it was only the mental powers of the wheelchair-bound George Steinbrenner -- like Professor X in that third X-Men movie, where Rebecca Ramos-Von Teese-Whatever, the blue-bodypaint shapeshifter, dies -- that was holding it back? Now that George is gone, what if we never win another game?

3. What if BP -- after capping the well, restoring the Gulf Coast waters to pristine purity, and elevating the lives of every shrimper, oysterman and scat-singing, bearded Faukner character from New Orleans to Sarasota, via corporate programs that teach diversity -- by August 15th -- buys the Yankees, and we never win another game?

4. What if our refusal to toss in Sergio, or Ivan, or Romulo, or Amaury, or Eduardo along with Jesus for Cliff Lee causes Texas to become unstoppable, our starters to become beleagured, and we never win another game?

5.  What if we never win another game?