Saturday, September 12, 2015

For the second time in 2015, John Sterling watches his house burn down (and other observations at the end of the Yankee world)

Last night, in the 2nd inning, John Sterling began postulating the Wild Card race. The Master was trying to assure his flock that all is well, that the Evils have built a five-game firewall, which cannot crumble in three weeks. Thus, we can anticipate that exciting one-game season! - quite possibly at home, in the House That Rudy Built, where we consistently crap the bed

John was saying this as the AL East division race was disappearing in laser shots to the left field bleachers. It's not that the Yankees last night were eliminated. They were merely humiliated. And when you look at last night's lineup, you don't see 2009. You see 2013.

Quick: Name a starting pitcher the Yankees absolutely can count on?

Quick: Who out of the bullpen is a sure thing? Betances looks Scott Proctored. Miller hasn't been the same since going on the DL. Shreve is getting clobbered. Who is our 7th inning stopper? Caleb Cotham. (Note: Last night, John actually said, "CALEB COTHAM HAS COME TO GOTHAM!" Yeesh.)

Quick: Without Teixeira, who drives in the runs? A-Rod is 40, going on 65, hitting below .200 since the All-Star break. Beltran is cooling, Gardy is tardy, Ellsbury is - well - meh. And  Bird is 22, barely able to swim, and thrust into crocodile-infested waters. Look at this lineup, and close your eyes, and you're transported back to the time of Vernon Wells, Pronk Hafner and Lyle Overbay - that recurring Yankee nightmare of antiques, who hit for a month or two, then fall apart.

The Mets have captured not only NYC, but a vast segment of the Yankiverse. Last night, I was in a Yankee bar in Syracuse. The Mets game was on, because that's what the drunkards wanted. It will be that way for a long time.

The worst part of last night? Watching Russell Martin clobber his former team.

Martin is the original sin for Hal "I'm Not Cheap" Steinbrenner.

A few years ago, he knocked on our door, asking for a two-year deal. "I'm Not Cheap" was too - well - frugal to sign two-year-deals (aside from the fading Ichiro), because he wanted to lower the payroll to $189 million. Martin went to Pittsburgh and sparked their resurgence. Meanwhile, "I'm Not Cheap" scrapped his payroll plans, watched the Yankees crumble, and then overcompensated - signing Brian McCann to a seven-year-deal. Though McCann is great, you cringe imagining the last two seasons of that contract, and how "I'm Not Cheap" will point to the hobbled catcher, zip up his precious "Hello Kitty" fanny pack purse, and say, "no more big contracts."

Last week, "I'm Not Cheap" - through his surrogate, Brian Cashman - aka "I'm Not Stupid" -announced that the Yankees won't be signing any high-priced free agents next winter, because they want to get below that luxury tax threshold. This is what happens when a sports team cannot lose money, no matter how it is run. They have a firewall, all right. It's not against the wild card. It's against ever losing money, no matter which team owns NYC.

Well, come next April, maybe I'll be the guy in that Yankee bar yelling to put on the Mets.

So... who starts for us in the Wild Card?

10 comments:

celerino sanchez said...

A bevy of heavy hits against Sevy last night

Ken of Brooklyn said...

I believe they'd start Tanaka, but will use every pitcher they have for the Wildcard game. It's painful to follow this team, it's like watching a beloved wounded animal crawl away to die, URRRGG!

Tom said...

They were fun and spirited, but now they are limping -- no, crawling -- to the finish with barely any signs of life apparent.

John M said...

We have reached the level of suckness foretold in the preseason. The worst part is, people who haven't watched or can't judge competently will think Girardi did a great job keeping them in it this long instead of having contributed to the loss column. There is no justice.

Leinstery said...

Michael Pineda is honest to God the dumbest person to ever pitch. He is the only person who thinks that hanging a slider every pitch is effective. I believe Smoltz has been calling them "cement mixers". Some one do me a solid and drop a concrete block on Pineda's shoulder so he can never throw it again.

Leinstery said...

Is there anyone not named Miller in that bullpen that can pitch? Mitchell, please take another line drive to the face.

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

Who starts for us in the Wild Card? Well, after his brilliant performance in today's matinee, Chasen Shreve is the obvious choice! (Yeah - like we're really going to make the Wild Card if Girardi continues like this.)

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

Nah, I was just joking. Hee hee hee. Chasen Shreve! Yuck yuck yuck! No, seriously, folks: it really has to be our magnificent starter Ivan Nova!

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, poor Girardi thinks that Torre was smart overusing the bullpen. Girardi is not a competent baseball manager, and he never will be. IMHO, I feel that it's Girardi who is teaching Refsnyder a "lesson".

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

Call it for what it is - Schadenfreude - but I am on the verge of hoping that the Yanks totally blow out and don't even make it into the Bud Selig Memorial One Game Wild Card Farce. I have read on several blogs and newspaper articles that heads will roll - and not just on the level of, say, pitching coach - if we blow it. And we need to blow it now to get rid of the insanely incompetent Girardi, and possibly Cashman, too. Be gone! Let's have a fresh start in 2016!