A year from now, the only free agent ace on the market could be Stephen Strasburg

As has been patiently explained again and again, Hal "I'm Not Cheap" Steinbrenner has no money to spend this winter. It's not his fault. It's those greedy players and their long-term contracts. They're the problem. Next year, after CC Sabathia and Mark Teixeira are finally done hoodwinking the good-hearted Yankee owner - when their contracts are off the books - Hal will have money to spend. Until then, he simply does not. Listen people: It doesn't grow on trees. No money means NO MONEY. And the Yankees are broke, none, nada. 

These days, with Hal pedaling his bike to work, it's a wonder the Steinbrenner family can afford their one-bedroom tenement in South Trenton. Damn those greedy players and their slimy agents. They force the team signing into long-term deals. It's an outrage. Where's Trump when you need him? We should build a wall around Yankee Stadium and refuse to allow greedy players inside.

If not for Tex, A-Rod and company, Hal could bid on a free agent pitcher. It would be nice, because this winter, there are three - Price, Cueto and Greinke - who won't require us to forfeit our top draft pick. But the coffers are bare. Thank you, rich Yankee players, for ruining everything!

Moreover, in today's column, the Daily News' John Harper notes that the only free agent pitcher next winter could be "the enigmatic Stephen Strasburg," and he might also cost us a draft pick. Damn. With only one pitcher on the market, Strasburg's price tag would be far more than Hal could pay. If only there was a way we could afford a player. (Could we put in a fracking well?) Well, at least soon we'll trade Brett Gardner. He costs us $12 million a year! Good riddance.