Though they want Aroldis, the Yankees are channeling Meat Loaf

Two out of three aint bad - especially if one of the two is the best closer on the market. But yesterday, classic rockster Brian Cashman channeled that great Yankee fan, Meat Loaf, in describing his quest for the elusive Aroldis Chapman. The lyric, spoken cold and lonely in a deep dark night, goes like this:

"I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that."

Cash said the Yanks will only go so far in their quest for El Chapo, who apparently wants a six-year deal. In the NY Times, the GM said...

“The attraction to him is we know he can pitch in New York and he’s doesn’t have a draft pick attached. So then it just comes down to money and term. We’ll compete to a certain level, and then we’ll see if that’s good enough.”

... to a certain level, and then we'll see...

He took the words right out of my mouth.

Cash spoke shortly after the SF Giants - a team run by ex-Yanks (Sabean, Tidrow, Alou, Righetti, Meulens, et al) - signed ex-Yank Mark Melancon for four years, at $62 million, the most money ever given to a relief pitcher.

That kind of money sounds loopy - old Papelbon held the previous record at four years for $50 million, and look how that turned out. But if I thought El Chapo was unreachable - and I'm starting to think so - I would have swam Frisco Bay to beat Melancon's offer. What I most fear is signing Kenley Jansen for an equally unfathomable shit-ton of money and losing our first-round pick. That would suck like a bat out of hell.

If El Chapo wants a six-year deal, maybe Joggie Cano needs a new pool boy. Six years? Uh-uh. He's not Nolan Ryan. Six years means at least two lost seasons. Six years? That's like a hot girl - barely seventeen and barely dressed - suddenly saying, "STOP RIGHT THERE! I gotta know right now, before we go any further, do ya love me?" And frankly, I have another fear about this.

Sometimes, players dealt at a deadline simply don't forget the team that ditched them. Everybody talks nicey-nicey, but the moment cannot be unremembered: You bastards traded me. Remember how Boston fans boasted that they'd trade Jon Lester and then get him back the following winter? Yeah, right. Everybody said Carlos Beltran would return to the Bronx. Nope. There's always that little voice in the subconscious: You bastards dealt me. 

Chapman knows the Yankees' financial limits. I'm wondering if he really plans to come back. Of course, he won't say so in public. Having the Yankees in the bidding is the best thing that can happen for a free agent auction. But it's always there: You bastards traded me. Even if we make him a huge four-year offer, I have a feeling he'll say, "Let me sleep on it. I'll give you an answer in the morning..."

These days, the Yankiverse is split into two sharply divergent factions.

1. Those who feel 2017 is already a wipe-out, and we must point to 2018 and beyond. (I am in that group.)

2. Those who think the Yankees should go all out and try to win this season.

Frankly, I don't see either side thinking six years of El Chapo is a good idea. It's doomed to leave Hal with another big dead contract. Thus, he will zip up his fanny pack and hide under the bed. The reality is this: Hal will never sell this team. When things go south, he will simply bleed it. And we will end up praying for the end of time...

Folks, the era of old George aint coming back. It was long ago, and it was far away, and it was so much better than it is today...