Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Though they want Aroldis, the Yankees are channeling Meat Loaf

Two out of three aint bad - especially if one of the two is the best closer on the market. But yesterday, classic rockster Brian Cashman channeled that great Yankee fan, Meat Loaf, in describing his quest for the elusive Aroldis Chapman. The lyric, spoken cold and lonely in a deep dark night, goes like this:

"I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that."

Cash said the Yanks will only go so far in their quest for El Chapo, who apparently wants a six-year deal. In the NY Times, the GM said...

“The attraction to him is we know he can pitch in New York and he’s doesn’t have a draft pick attached. So then it just comes down to money and term. We’ll compete to a certain level, and then we’ll see if that’s good enough.”

... to a certain level, and then we'll see...

He took the words right out of my mouth.

Cash spoke shortly after the SF Giants - a team run by ex-Yanks (Sabean, Tidrow, Alou, Righetti, Meulens, et al) - signed ex-Yank Mark Melancon for four years, at $62 million, the most money ever given to a relief pitcher.

That kind of money sounds loopy - old Papelbon held the previous record at four years for $50 million, and look how that turned out. But if I thought El Chapo was unreachable - and I'm starting to think so - I would have swam Frisco Bay to beat Melancon's offer. What I most fear is signing Kenley Jansen for an equally unfathomable shit-ton of money and losing our first-round pick. That would suck like a bat out of hell.

If El Chapo wants a six-year deal, maybe Joggie Cano needs a new pool boy. Six years? Uh-uh. He's not Nolan Ryan. Six years means at least two lost seasons. Six years? That's like a hot girl - barely seventeen and barely dressed - suddenly saying, "STOP RIGHT THERE! I gotta know right now, before we go any further, do ya love me?" And frankly, I have another fear about this.

Sometimes, players dealt at a deadline simply don't forget the team that ditched them. Everybody talks nicey-nicey, but the moment cannot be unremembered: You bastards traded me. Remember how Boston fans boasted that they'd trade Jon Lester and then get him back the following winter? Yeah, right. Everybody said Carlos Beltran would return to the Bronx. Nope. There's always that little voice in the subconscious: You bastards dealt me. 

Chapman knows the Yankees' financial limits. I'm wondering if he really plans to come back. Of course, he won't say so in public. Having the Yankees in the bidding is the best thing that can happen for a free agent auction. But it's always there: You bastards traded me. Even if we make him a huge four-year offer, I have a feeling he'll say, "Let me sleep on it. I'll give you an answer in the morning..."

These days, the Yankiverse is split into two sharply divergent factions.

1. Those who feel 2017 is already a wipe-out, and we must point to 2018 and beyond. (I am in that group.)

2. Those who think the Yankees should go all out and try to win this season.

Frankly, I don't see either side thinking six years of El Chapo is a good idea. It's doomed to leave Hal with another big dead contract. Thus, he will zip up his fanny pack and hide under the bed. The reality is this: Hal will never sell this team. When things go south, he will simply bleed it. And we will end up praying for the end of time...

Folks, the era of old George aint coming back. It was long ago, and it was far away, and it was so much better than it is today... 

10 comments:

Parson Tom said...

Masterpiece post.

KD said...

anyone else think it's odd that the Cubs don't want him, even considering the 6 year deal? They MUST be awash in cash.

I thought they wanted a dynasty for the next 3 or 4 years. Guess one ring every century is good enough for Second City.

Alphonso said...

I don't think I can handle the bullshit anymore. If we sign him for 6, he'll be good for one year And that one year will be his first, where, at best, we make ( and lose ) the wild card play-in game. After that, he'll suck and we will have him forever.

Fuck them all. None of them are worth what they are getting.

JUs play the people we have, come in last, and be done with it.

Ate least we will see Yankees that way.

Anonymous said...

IN THE MOVIE SCARFACE, TONY MONTANA SAYS, "C'MON! I KNOW THE GAME MAN, YOU GO HIGH, I GO LOW." ....CHAPMAN IS JUST "GOING HIGH" ON HIS 6 YEAR ASKING......MY OPINION IS IT IS GOING TO TAKE 5 YEARS AND $90 MILLION TO SIGN HIM, BUT HERE IS THE AGGRAVATING PART...... KNOWING THIS 5/90 FIGURE, HAL WILL OFFER 5/87 AND HE WILL GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.......SOUND FAMILIAR?......REMEMBER YOAN MONCADA?............SLOWLY WE TURN......

Parson Tom said...

Holy cow! RedSux just traded Yoan Moncada for Chris Sale.

IMHO, this is a good move for the Yankees. Sale is not -- again, this is my guess -- going to be the best pitcher in the league much longer. His arm or shoulder will not stand up to the stress. Boston will have to pay him, and they won't have Moncada working his way up.

(Of course, I also predicted in '86 or '85 that some guy named Clemens wouldn't last long. I believe the words I used were "flash in the pan." Just being honest.

Alphonso said...

That is a holy cow moment.

KD said...

Hal, you have your orders. get Moncada from the Chisox. DO IT! DO IT NOW!!

Anonymous said...

The days of George are over? You mean no new manager every year for decades at a time? No more demented tirades against anyone and everyone to distract from on-field business? No pennant for fifteen years at a time? No whole-scale demoralization and trading off of precious young talent in favor of fading veterans? Oh wait--we still have the last one, so there's hope we can recover the rest of that precious heritage as well. Be careful what you wish for, duque.

JM said...

Yeah, Anon, I wasn't a big fan of Fat Boy, either. Basically he was the proto-Trump, a 12-year-old throwing tantrums and doing a lot of dumb stuff. His son is, at least, not fat and seems to be at least 18.

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