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Monday, March 27, 2017

Hicks, Ref and Reub: Monday's sausage links

Sundown is near, the Yankiverse is heating-up from Cashman-made emissions, and Hell (aka Scranton) is facing a flood. Cuts are coming, and maybe the long prophesied trades of Rob Refsnyder and - gulp - Brett Gardner. By my count, we have 29 heads for 25 caps and, in particular, the outfield's jammed with broken heroes on a last-chance power drive. There's Gardy, Hicks, Judge, Ellsbury, Holliday, Ref - and the competent Mason Williams as the ghost of an afterthought. Somepin's gotta give.

Today, the Post's George King says Aaron Hicks is enjoying an Arab spring. (Last year, he sucked in Tampa, by the way.) Could Hicks be our Jackie Bradley Jr., the slow-developer who rewards Yankee patience? (That's a phrase you never expected to hear: "Yankee patience.") Considering Aaron Judge's wingspan and trebuchet-like mechanics, a RF platoon looks dubious. So the $64 million question: Would Girardi have the stones to bench an under-performing Ellsbury, with four-years remaining on his ticket? Nobody knows. But if Ellsbury under-performs, as he did last year, a dam in Hell might burst. 

King also says the Evils are lapdancing Refsnyder to interested teams, hoping to snag a suitor whose already swallowed the single-pack Viagra. Yesterday, they showed him to the Rays, re-enacting the coming out party for Brooke Shields in "Pretty Baby." Frankly, I hate this. For four years now, I've rooted for Ref. I think the Yankees completely botched his development. If he ends up in Tampa, I believe he will haunt 16 times-a-season for the next five years. Isn't there an NL team on the West Coast that can seduced by a bra-less virgin?

Though only charged with one error, Reuben Tejada - battling to be the April Didi - yesterday botched three plays at 2B, according to Newsday's Anthony Reiber. He also hit a HR. Pete Kozma played SS, went 1-3. Ronald Torreyes played 3B - 0-2 with a sac fly. Tyler Webb, the people's choice, didn't play a down, not even on punt returns. Joel Sherman explains why. Like I said, it's about to get crowded in Hell.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

LIKE THE GERMAN SOLDIER THAT WAS LET GO IN PRIVATE RYAN, REFSNYDER WILL COME BACK AND PUT A KNIFE IN US, ESPECIALLY IF HE GOES TO A TEAM IN OUR DIVISION...... WELL PLAYED MR. CASHMAN!

Anonymous said...

NOW ON TO THIS HORRIFYING AARON HICKS PROBLEM.......ONCE AGAIN, I AM READING QUOTES FROM GIRARDI THAT ARE CHILLING ME TO THE BONE....... LAST SEASON FOR THE FIRST 4 MONTHS OF THE SEASON (THAT'S RIGHT 4 MONTHS), AARON HICKS HIT .187 WITH VIRTUALLY NO PRODUCTION........ (HE GOT "HOT" FOR A MONTH AND HIT A WHOPPING .271 - IN THIS ERA OF CASHMANIA, .271 IS SUPERLATIVE)!........ IN THIS SPRING'S "FIGHT" FOR RIGHT FIELD, AARON JUDGE IS HITTING .321 ( HAS ONLY STRUCK OUT 12 TIMES IN 53 AT BATS, AND HAS GUNNED DOWN A FEW BASERUNNERS WITH IMPRESSIVE THROWS)......AARON HICKS IS HITTING WELL AT .286 ................... THE PROBLEM WITH HICKS, IS HE IS GOING TO BE ON OUR ROSTER....... AND WHENEVER JUDGE SLUMPS, (AND HE WILL SLUMP), MANAGEMENT WILL SAY TO ITSELF, "WE MAY BE MISSING THE BOAT WITH HICKS, WE GOTTA GET HIM IN THERE.", AND THE FUTURE OF AARON JUDGE AT 25 YEARS OLD WILL BE STALLED, AND POSSIBLY DERAILED.........AMAZING HOW CASHMAN ACTUALLY HAS MADE ME WISH WE STILL HAD JOHN RYAN MURPHY.

John M said...

Cashman said he was convinced Hicks really WAS a Bradley, Jr. That's why he's still here even though he sucks.

Another excellent appraisal by the Greatest Trader of All Time.

John M said...

Oh, and, hey...Tejada was sent down. Whew.

joe de pastry said...

Tyler "Webb"?
Following up on Kramden with a C?
Dude, you need a proofreader.
[Sorry, but I used to be a writing teacher.]

el duque said...

Okay, okay, Tyler WADE. How many Tylers can there be.

And Joe D., you wanna job as a proofreader?

Anonymous said...

TEJADA WAS SENT DOWN TODAY?..... THANK YOU GOD.