It's an unwritten rule of creation that every Yankee - even the light-hitting Ronald Torreyes ("Torreyes is terrific! Bonny Ronnie!") - gets a John Sterling yahoo yelp. When a new player arrives, the Yankiverse debates ideas for The Master's call.
Yet Chris Carter - last year's NL home run leader - has never conjured much discussion within the Yankee peanut gallery. (A subReddit devoted to the subject came up with one putrid offering: "Carter really jimmied that one." - Ouch.) Now, with Greg Bird having a great spring, Carter's presence has only diminished further. He's become the Yankee Voldemort - He Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken.
So... what WILL The Master shout? Let's do the analytics on a proper two-pronged homer holler. We'll break it down, courtesy of RhymeZone.com:
CARTER rhymes with..
arter, barter, cart her, charter, chart her, darter, dartre, garter, harter,hartter, heart her, karter, marter, martyr, parter, part her, sartor,smarter, starter, start her, tartar, tarter
"Carter charters a downtown flight!"
"No barter for Carter."
"It's a start... from Cart... er.!
bis, biss, bliss, bliss', briss, brys, buice, chris', chriss, cris, criss, cuisse,dis, diss, driss, fis, fiss, flis, fliss, gliss, hiss, kis, kiss, kniss, kris, kriss,lis, liss, lisse, mis, miss, nisse, piss, pliss, plisse, pris, priss, riss, risse,rys, scris, sis, spiss, stys, suess, suisse, swiss, this, this', triss, twiss, vis,whiss, wis, wiss, wisse, wyss
All right, who's got a better Chris? Or has The Master already played his hand?