Sometime today, the news will emerge from its hole and look around. If it sees its shadow, the Yankiverse can expect six months more of winter.
Most likely, it will appear unto us in a tweet, rippling across the Yankiverse. Often, breaking news appears on our comments section. That's probably what will happen. Somebody will see it, and their shrieks will rouse the rest of us.
Obviously, I'm referring to the medical diagnosis of Didi Gregorius' shoulder, which has been described as "bruised" and "strained" and "a hematoma of the subscapularis muscle." A hematoma is a solid swelling of clotted blood between tissues. This is not Didi tweaking a gonad. It's the shoulder, the most important part of any ballplayer, after his heart. Last spring, Greg Bird announced that he'd hurt his shoulder. He's still recovering.
Today, we stand at the crossroads of four alternative fates. The bleacher beast in us wants Gleyber Torres to magically save the day. But I dunno. In the movies, Cuba Gooding Jr. joins the team, teaches the town to love, and we win the state championship. In real life, Torres is in danger of becoming over-hyped.Three weeks in March - and the notoriously unrealistic hitters' parks of the Arizona Fall League - is not enough to stick a 20-year-old Single A player into the iconic footsteps of Jeter. A reminder: Last season, at Tampa, he hit .254. There are serious reasons why Torres is not ready, and this is one of those times when we must assume Yankee coaches know what they're doing. Of course, we root for him. But you can screw up a kid's head by pushing too hard. The sixties writer John Barth ("Lost in the Funhouse") once said, "If you think you're something you're not, it will keep you from becoming what you could be." Torres could be great. We gotta protect him from our fantasy erections. So... the scenarios.
1. Didi is out for days. WTF? Why are we even discussing this? Let's get back to dissing Pineda.
2. Didi is out for weeks. No problemo. We go with Ronald Torreyes or Ruben Tejada. I'd suggest Tyler Wade in a pinch, or the 29-year-old Scrantonian Pete Kozma (who's hit .320 this spring, 98 points over his lifetime average.) Weeks? Bah. Bring in Cito Culver! We can handle weeks.
3. Didi is out for months. Problemo. As Ralph Cramden would say, "Hummina-hummina-hummina..." We can move Starlin Castro to SS and splice somebody in at 2B, but who? The Yankees long ago gave up on Rob Refsnyder's footwork, and the only players listed as 2B this spring are Castro, Thairo Estrada and Abi Avelino, two embryos. If it's months, Cashman might have to trade for a veteran, betraying every hopeful aspect of this franchise's youth movement. Frankly, I would rather see Cito Culver or another scrap heaper. Where's Donovan Solano. The dude hit .319 last year at Scranton. We won the Governor's Cup with this guy!
4. Didi is out for the year. I can't even think about this. If this is it, we just lost our best player. In my fantasy world, I figured this was Didi's year - 25 HRs and .290, maybe even .300. He would start in the sixth hole and by June, he'd be batting third. This was the dawning of the age of Gregorius. Now... if this is it... well... is Alvaro Espinosa still playing? Jeez. I dunno. Just be gentle in the comments section. I have a stent, you know.