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Friday, March 10, 2017

The Gammonites are measuring our prospects for a Quintana trade, and the time is nigh to RESIST

Yesterday, Mike Axisa at River Ave endorsed the idea of the Yankees trading top prospects for starter Jose Quintana, who he calls "really good." 

Today, Jerry Hall's Ken Davidoff all but bids farewell to Jorge Mateo, as the likeliest virgin to be tossed into the well for Quintana - a deal that would upgrade the Yankees to contenders for the vaunted 2017 Wild Card Single Game Away Field Berth.

By now, we've all their drivel-larded reasoning: "Yanks have too many prospects... kids don't all pan out... trade chips... need to weed out... Quintana only 28... cheap over four years... really good... diarrhea and suicidal thoughts... and Toto too..."

Over and over, we're told that either Clint Frazier or Aaron Judge could be another Yahoo Serious, and now is the time to convert one into Bitcoins. That's how you build. Look at Boston!

Well, I believe the 2017 Yankees will either soar high above expectations... or struggle just to breathe above .500. If it's the former, we can trade prospects at the deadline for whatever we need. If it's the latter, "really good" Quintana won't save us. 

And, hopefully, for the last time, here's why you DON'T deal from a glut. 

If Judge fails, we have Frazier. If he fails, we have Dustin Fowler. If he fails, we have Billy McKinney. By the time he fails, we have Blake Rutherford. We have a wave of talent.

The point is, we can build a team that can be supplemented with free agents. It's a slam dunk. You simply write a long-range plan and stick to it. Last August, the Yankees made a tough decision - the best one they've made in seven years. Now, they'll pitch the plan overboard?

Listen: The White Sox are not stupid. There's a reason they are itching to deal Quintana. He's thrown 800 innings in the last four years. If he's so young, at 28, and so cheap over the next four years, why wouldn't they keep him?

If the Yankees make this deal, I'm hereby calling for a mass nationwide protest:

A NATIONAL "DAY WITHOUT YANKEE FANS."


That's right. We don't go to work. Instead of picking cotton for the Man, we mass in the streets and stare down the Yankee suits as they walk into the office. We tell Tiny Hands Hal Steinbrenner we've had enough!

Think of it: Practically all of Wall Street will be out there. Bill O'Reilly and Keith Olbermann will be out there. Billy Crystal! Jack Nicholson! Hillary Duff! Lady Gaga! Sara Michelle Fucking Geller! You think any shit gets done with fucking Buffy the Vampire Slayer spitting on the scabs, as they pass the picket line? NO FUCKING WAY, AMIGO. Denzel Fucking Washington, too!

NO PROSPECTS, NO PEACE! NO PROSPECTS, NO PEACE!

THIS IS WHAT THE YANKIVERSE LOOKS LIKE. THIS IS WHAT THE YANKIVERSE LOOKS LIKE!

WE DON'T NEED HAL'S TINY HANDS... FIDDLIN' WITH OUR LONG RANGE PLANS!


I'm telling you, if this goes down, it's time to riot.

6 comments:

JM said...

Is Jack Nicholson still alive? Well, regardless.

But since you brought him up...forget it, Duque. It's Yankeetown.

KD said...

Hal's gonna take our seed corn and grind it for tasty corn dogs and those RAB punks will eat 'em up. you know they will. The young'uns know nothing of delayed gratification. Planning and saving? pfft. I'm signing a lease on a BMW tomorrow. go F yourself, stupid old geezer. We know sabermetrics!

only deal worth making is to trade prospects for the delectable Cuban sandwich, Yoan Moncada.

DutchFan said...

Yesterday I was at Eindhoven railway station. While I was waiting for a cab, there was this guy in a wheelchair. He is probably 65 years old, wears tiny glasses and has a long, grey beard. He moved his chair backwards, ever so slowly along de curb. There were a lot of people out there waiting for buses, smoking and doing the ordinary things people do at Endhoven railway station. You know.

The man in the chair was holding a sign. Unfortunately the print was so small it was illegible from my bleacher position. I could hear his chant. For the entire 15 minutes I had to wait for a taxi (there are not many around it seems in Eindhoven) he Hara Krishna-ed:

If nature is new, you are not dead anymore.
Not dead anymore.
You are not dead anymore when nature is new
Not dead anymore.

Over and over again. By the way, he did this in Dutch obviously.

The reason I am telling this?
I woul like some explanation for the fact that this guy suddenly sprung back in my mind while I was reading this post.

el duque said...

That man - and you - both understand that the crisis is at hand.

Anonymous said...

Hard to call it a "crisis", when it's been going on for so long....more like just another impending "routine disaster". LB (No J)

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