85 wins, third place, no pennant, no post-season... I see, gulp, darkness at the edge of April

It's time to post our expectations for the 2019 season.

I - (state your name) - El Duque, hereby project the Yankees to win 85 games this year and finish out of the running, beaten and bedraggled, a dismal, wretched season of injuries and failure, only made bearable by the escape offered by our bile-laden mockery.  

Damn, I hope I'm wrong. I hope that in your comments and predictions, you will change my mind. But this morning, the boiled turnip roots - left beneath my pillow overnight with a once-chewed Chiclet and the monkey schlong - failed to turn blue, signifying trouble ahead. I cannot ignore science. Also, there are these concerns:  

1. First and foremost, injuries. It's one thing to lose aging vets. It's another to lose standard-issue steel-toed boots, who should be entering their primes. Aaron Hicks' back has mystified both him and the team apothecary. The worry is not that he'll miss a month; it's that he'll return as Zolio Almonte with a shaved noggin. Same goes for Luis Severino and Dellin Betances, who looks particularly drained. If these were the only tweaks, I'd add 10 wins to the projection. But the two pillars of our team - Aaron Judge and Gioncarlo Stanton - have been DL tenants throughout their careers. Why should we expect otherwise? Every team faces injuries. But the Yankees - as shown by yesterday's trade for a career minor league CF - have lost their depth. In 24 hours, we went from Hicks to Mike Tauchman. Does John Sterling have a homer-holler ready? 

2. The infield is a crap shot. Every slot is a question mark. Who's on first? Two players, neither of whom has succeeded over a full MLB season. At 2B, Torres still must prove he's the first-half Gleyber, not the Gleyber who returned in August. At SS, Troy Tulowitzi is a jolly good fellow, which nobody can deny. He's also a 34-year-old rehab project on the wrong side of Jeterhood. Does anyone think he'll last three months? And without spring training, what will be Didi be like? Third base will be fine... if Andujar's footwork has improved. If not, we have no Plan B. Instead, we go straight to Plan 9 from Outer Space: Cashman making deals.  

3. The front office has gaslighted the Yankiverse into thinking Gary "Yadier" Sanchez is one of the game's great catchers, as if his two-month arrival in 2016 has been substantiated by his play. It has not. This spring, "Elston" hit .222 with one homer. He is still young enough to become a fine, if not great, Yankee. But last year, I remember sterling testimonials written about "Pudge's" renewed commitment to the game. What happens when "Yogi" goes through a particularly tough stretch of passed balls? Everybody in baseball will be watching. He has no safety net for the critics. If he's hitting .200 in June, things will turn ugly for "Thurman."

4. We keep hearing about the Yankee bullpen. But who closes? According to reports, El Chapo hasn't yet aired out his fastball this spring. What makes us think his knee will hold up? It didn't last year. Betances went through horrible spells in July and August - he couldn't contain big leads. We seem to think Zack Britton is the answer, but he's still untested over a long haul, since returning from his injury. Who closes? Stephen Tarpley?

5. Who starts? Across the rotation, we have injuries, age, and uncertainty. Big Maple Paxton had a great spring. So did Sonny Gray last year. Paxton has a history of injuries, but we've convinced ourselves he'll be just fine. Masahiro Tanaka has defied MRIs for four years. Will this be the season his elbow goes bump in the night? CC, at age 37, is coming off angioplasty. JA Happ is 36. After that, it's a conga line of Domingo German, Luis Cessa and Gio Gonzalez. This is a championship rotation? What are we smoking? 

6. Supposedly, we plan to fortify with mid-season acquisitions. Supposedly, this should comfort us. Well, I don't feel it. What I see in the last weeks of July are one-sided deals where we trade our future for washed-up veterans or nightmare rental contracts, who have become public whipping mules in small markets. That notion that we should look always forward to the July 31 deadline? That disappeared lonnnnnnng before Sonny Gray. I dread it more than any other time in the calendar year.  

7. Quietly, this has become the worst decade in Yankee history. The worst. But reading the Gammonites, you'd was the Yankees - not Boston - who are on the verge of a dynasty. It's clear that Hal Steinbrenner will never be the big-spending sociopath his father became. What's becoming evident is that Hal is obsessed with paying off his debt on Yankee Stadium, making it the biggest boondoggle in sports history. We watch the Redsocks bring championships to the crown jewel of American stadiums - Fenway Park - while our owner uses this dreary colossus of concrete as his excuse for stinginess. 

Eighty-five wins. Maybe even a sell-off in August. Dark times are coming, folks. 

Or please, please, PLEASE... convince me that the turnip turned blue overnight. Convince me that I'm wrong.