What if - and bear with me, because this idea may sound like it's from another galaxy - what if... when a batter has two strikes on him, he altered his swing slightly, trying harder to make contact?
Let that sink in, amigo. He alters his swing, so as to try to - (sucks on joint) - hit the ball.
As a result, in theory, he would strike out fewer times and put the ball into play, thereby creating potentially higher abstract mathematical odds, thereby favoring his chances of said sphere to penetrate places where the defensive stratagems have failed to - WHOAH, STOP THE TILT-A-WHIRL, MY MIND IS BLOWN, WHAT A CONCEPT, THIS IS PURE KEROUAC, AM I HAVING AN ACID FLASHBACK? WHERE'S JERRY GARCIA? WHAT AN IDEA! YES, OF COURSE IT'S CRAZY, IT'S BALLS TO THE WALL NUTS... BUT BUT BUT... IT SO CRAZY THAT IT JUST MIGHT WORK!
Imagine... instead of taking his roundhouse swing, just happily ejaculating toward the fences - swish-swish-swish and walk back to the dugout, Sluggo - the batter actually zeroes in on the upcoming two-strike pitch... and concentrates on making contact?
I know, I know... it's just theoretical gobbledygook, pure conjecture, regurgitated nonsense from some child-of-nature-friend-of-man flower child - get a job, hippies! - with no real world application. It probably hatched in the head of a street person or a drug dealer or - hmm - maybe Elon Musk? He's known for bold ideas. This would be his biggest yet: THE TWO-STRIKE BATTING ADJUSTMENT!
Well, that's what Aaron Judge is doing, with guidance from the always-innovating Yankee brain trust. Supposedly - I'll believe it when I see it - when Judge has two strikes, he'll lessen his forward stride, giving him a longer look at each pitch, so he can strikeout less and put more balls in play.
Says Kevin Kernan of the Murdoch Post (featuring Jerry Hall!):
No leg kick from the front leg. No toe tap. No stride. Just a powerful coiled right-handed snap swing. That is especially the case with two strikes, his new two-strike approach.
A two-strike adjustment. Wow. Is baseball ready for such an innovation?What. Hath. God. Wrought?
Posts
12 comments:
End of days, end of days, can you hear the hoofbeats of the Horsemen approach?
I hear the train a coming, coming around the bend, and I ain’t seen the sunshine since I don’t know when..,
STANTON NEEDS TO FOLLOW SUIT....
ESPECIALLY SINCE HIS "CLUTCH" GENE SUCKS.
Musk may be the 21st century Edison but even he has no where near the imagination required to come up with this dramatic breakthrough. No! This must have been discovered by some back room statistician. The sabermatic wonder intern from MIT Hal just ensconced at a work station far beneath the right field bleachers.
I say, Go for it, Aaron! DARE TO MAKE CONTACT!!!
There is the Ron Hunt Maxim: If you can't hit the ball, GET HIT by the damn thing.
And also The Ellsbury Corolary: With 2 strikes, create a Catcher's Interference call.
So it seems we have two things to be thankful for this Spring: Judge actually trying to hit the ball when he has two strikes on him, and Kimbrel and his scraggly-ass beard and bullshit mime pose before every pitch is not going to be signed by the Yankees.
I mean, what the fuck is wrong with that guy? Jesus.
I didn't think anybody could out-weird Papelbon but I was wrong...
If someone wanted to be REALLY radical, he could try shortening the bat a bit, by perhaps moving the hands an inch or so away from the knob of the bat. You could say, perhaps, he was “choking up” on the bat.
Nah, too radical...
And then maybe trying some sort of "inside out" swing, to drive the ball to the opposite field...
Stop it, stop it! Homeland Security will be here any minute!
Hey, if we don't have to endure Coops' patentedl, "Swing for the fences on every pitch but dare to take a third strike" approach anymore, I'm happy.
And congratulations on your son, Warbler!!
Thanks Hoss. He is a focused working machine. I'm trying to get him to lighten up a bit.
The Master and his better half are doing a spring training game on the WFAN. Johnny Lasagna is getting shelled. And is Driven by Jeep. Or so I've heard.
I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.
Post a Comment