A Bold and Foolproof Plan to Beat the Redsocks and Capture the 2009 Pennant

From IIH thinktank commentator realistic:

"Everyone keeps saying that it's amazing that they're tied for first place, after losing all 8 games. However I disagree.

"We're a lot BETTER than them against the rest of baseball. The only reason we're tied is because after they humiliated us the team went into a tailspin (see mets minus castillo, nats, florida)

"Therefore I propose that the next series we have with boston, let's just forfeit the games.

"Had we done it previously we'd have kept our dignity. They'd have been awarded with the wins. and we'd be 5 games up in the standings."

Ladies and gentlepersons, this is the kind of thinking that wins the World Series.

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FORFEIT FENWAY.

DON'T EVEN SHOW UP. DON'T GIVE THEM THE SATISFACTION OF PLAY. ROB THEM OF HOME GAME REVENUES. THAT'S MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. AT HOME, WE PLAY A RAGTAG LINE UP OF BRAWLING INDEPENDENT PRO WRESTLERS AND DRUG FIENDS.

WHILE THEY'RE BEATING THEIR CHESTS, WE WILL ENJOY THE TIME OFF, SCOUT THE ROYALS AND WHITESOCK LINEUPS MORE CAREFULLY, AND "TAKE CARE OF BIDNESS."

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FORFEIT FENWAY... IT'S A FINE WAY.