Saturday, October 10, 2009

Redsock fans don't have a "growing" problem; they have a "going" problem

At first, me and the guys thought it sucked
that the team was poppin' steroids, but jeez,
winnin' the championships was fookinay prime!

But then Jerry -- he takes health claims for
the tow-lift operators' local -- he says,
"Listen, Joey, that fookin Papi and Tek, all those guys,
they don't got a 'growin'' problem.
What they got is a 'goin'' problem!"


He says, "Jesus H, the freakin' Angels get on first,
and they're goin' on the next pitch!
They just keep goin' and goin' and goin'!
Whaddafuk happened to Martinez!
He throws like my cousin, Beatrice,
after she got her boobs done!"


I says, "Kriceawmighty, we gotta get some pills!"
I'm figuring, they can keep the growin' stuff,
cause what's Georgieboy Mitchell gonna do, toss 'em?
But we gotta start takin' pills to stop the "goin'."
Mingah! These freakin' Angels are goin' all the time!

Note: Avodart is not for everybody. Side-effects may include jelly knees, the runs, two-out rallies and possible elimination. Talk to your Dominican pharmacist.

5 comments:

Gringo Starr said...

Piss on them!

unanimous said...

It's great that they got this far, though, considering they are from such a small market.

They're a scrappy, lovable bunch of losers.

Nuke Yuke said...

They need one side effect: the runs !

dadlak said...

Nice to see someone else addressing this growing problem.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWtEaW6x0_8

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Nuke,

I spit out my drink on that one.

Dadlak,

That's five minutes of my life that I won't get back.