Thursday, August 26, 2010

10 Reasons We Can't Beat Toronto

We're 5-7 against them, our worst record against any team. Why?

1. Players can't get over suspicion of being cheated on currency exchange.

2. Blue Jays pride selves on endless supply of no-name pitchers.

3. It's not Tampa or Boston, so why bother?

4. Retractable roof mezmerizing. How can they do that!

5. Can't hit with tears in eyes following incredible Celine Dion performance.

6. Players' stuffed animals confiscated at border.

7. Who can hit during a snow storm?

8. Vernon Wells still bitter that Yanks wouldn't take him as salary dump.

9. Team loses focus after visits to "Canadian ballet."

10. Proximity to Buffalo.

1 comment:

Alibi Ike said...

11. Still inhibited by the patriotic fervor of the Canadian hockey gold medal.

12. And the giant inflatable beavers don't help the situation.