Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Suggested Castings for Milwaukee's 6-foot Bronze Statue of Bud Selig

The hamlet of Milwaukee, with nobody else better to honor, today will unveil a 6-foot bronze statue of former Brewers owner and MLB commissioner Bud Selig.

Yes, this sounds like a joke. It should be. It's not. It's true. This is the most creative use of metal since pooper-scooper tongs. To help MLB honor the Man Who Made Milwaukee Lamest, some ideas...

Bud, conceiving the early spring World Baseball Tournament.
(It has replaced the World Cup in popularity.)

Bud, without his wig

Bud, conceiving the idea to sell Spider-Man 2 advertisements
on every MLB infield during the movie's premier weekend of 2004.
(This was later disbanded, after protests.)  

Bud, frolicking with unnamed 16-year-old Latino boy, who has just signed a MLB contract.
(Did you know MLB signs Latino boys that young?)

Bud, announcing that the annual Hall of Fame game in Cooperstown,
a tradition since Babe Ruth's induction, will be no more.

1 comment:

Jim Leyritz's Cellmate said...

Where's the one of Bud standing naked on a large scallop shell while angels look on in wonderment?