Jeter says he's right on target. Only trouble is, we heard this all a year ago

Feb. 24, 2013:  TAMPA, Fla. -- Yankees captain Derek Jeter is expected to play in his first Spring Training game around March 10, according to general manager Brian Cashman.
         "He's kind of doing everything, but we're not ready to run him out there for game activity," Cashman said. "When we do, I think we'll start him at DH and then expand."
        Jeter ran on the infield dirt on Saturday, his first time doing so since suffering a left ankle fracture in last season's American League Championship Series. The 38-year-old has consistently said that he expects to be ready for Opening Day in New York on April 1.
       "I was a couple of weeks behind what everyone else was doing when I first got here, so on that schedule I don't see any reason why not," Jeter said. "I don't think anything's set in stone, but it seems like it's attainable."

Not much more to say, eh?

Nineteen years ago, the Yankees married Derek Jeter. We were the fat billionaire with a big mansion and a handful of rings, and she was the hot 20-year-old Olympic supermodel at the height of her physical prowess. God, the sex was incredible. Nine innings, every night. We're lucky to still be alive.

Now, we're a liver-spotted 90-year-old, bathing daily in AndroGel and chewing Viagra tabs like Chicklets, and she's a busty, fleshy "thirty-nine," a bit wide at the ankles, but still exotic, in a drunken Jessica-Walter sort of way. All these years, both sides were faithful to each other. The marriage is still strong. There is no talk of a divorce or even separation. We renewed our vows last November. But it's been a while since we spent a night together...

Yesterday, the wife took fielding and hitting practice, and later pronounced herself fit to go, four months ahead of schedule, ready to jump back into the sack. In the past, we viewed such a vow like an IOU written by Ben Bernanke. But now, well, there were those letters from her Florida trip last February. For the first and only time in our marriage, we caught her hiding something from us.



Feb. 18, 2013:  TAMPA, Fla. -- (Derek) Jeter was back in the swing on Monday as the Yankees held their first full-squad workout of the spring. The captain showed off his cuts and went through defensive drills at shortstop, showing no grimaces or limping on his surgically repaired left ankle.
      "I felt fine. I felt good," Jeter said. "[It was the] first time I was doing everything on the field in terms of hitting on the field and ground balls on the dirt. Everything went good."

Feb. 11, 2013:  TAMPA, Fla. -- Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter ran on a treadmill on Monday for the first time since having left ankle surgery in October and said that it felt "great."
     Jeter also took about 75 to 80 ground balls at his shortstop position during a morning workout at the Yankees' Minor League facility, with minimal lateral movement and no throws across the diamond.
      "I'm just progressing, like I've told you," Jeter said. "I'm right where I need to be. I've gotten the OK to do everything now."

Listen: We are now an old and frail couple, walking the beach, hand in hand. Youngsters run past us, as the years did. We don't talk about age any more. Nor do we talk about the fact that we never had a kid to take over the biz. That's all it's too late. It's still her and us. And we still have our dignity. We still have our name.

So close your eyes, and forget what happened last winter. Close your eyes, and she's still the blushing bride from 1996. And when she says she can still dance, well, we have no choice but to order the champagne, tell the driver to wheel the limousine into place, and head out on the town. If you're going down, better on a dance floor than a respirator.