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Wednesday, February 11, 2015

ESPN wonk-worm ranks '15 Yankees as the Bronx Bottoms

For whatever it's worth, an oracle at Redsock-infested ESPN has announced the 2015's first sighting of the 2006 million-ton elephant in the room: 

Analyst David Schoenfield ranks the Yankees as baseball's 21st best team - 21 out of 30. Yep, we're worse than the Marlins, worse than the Mets, worse than the Rays, worst in our division - the low layer of the refuse bin. We're better than the Diamondbacks, Twins, Brewers, Phillies, etc. Sayeth Schoenfield:

"While a lot of people are pointing to a healthier rotation and better seasons from some of the veterans as reasons the Yankees will contend this year, I turn that around and say: Who’s a good bet to improve? The only thing I’m sure of is the Yankees will have better defense at shortstop. I’m taking the under .500 — for the first time since 1992.”

Ouch. In olden times, whenever anybody from the Redsock/ESPN/Al Jazera channel dissed the Yankees, a strident chorus of Yankee bloggers quickly emerged, like Cheney-Bush truth squads, to attack the network for revealing its pink Redsock underwear. And there is truth to the criticism, because every single-mom kid in Bristol, Connecticut, seems to have Nomar Garciappara's sadistic smile. But to predict the 2015 Yankees, you don't need a calculator or a Ouija board. Anybody who looks at our rotation sees an over-inflated balloon, waiting to pop.

So why rage at any messengers? This isn't Sparta. This guy is more like Frenchie France in 2004 trying to tell George W. not to invade Iraq. We can close our eyes and bellow, and we can order Freedom Fries at the airport diner. Hell, we can even listen to Maroon 5 albums. But it won't get us a starting pitcher. Heading into spring, the Evil Empire just doesn't look like an empire. Rankings? Who cares? The real questions: How bad... and how long?

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