Tuesday, February 24, 2015

The Redsocks will pay $30 million in luxury taxes for Moncada: Maybe Hal just earned himself some FREE MONEY!

Do the math, Yankee fans:

Thirty teams = $30 million dollars... yes, a mill per team... in FREE REDSOCK LUXURY TAX MONEY.

Boston's signing of Yoan Moncada is the latest monster windfall for Major League Baseball, the 1 percent's most beloved taxation system on the planet. Where else do billionaires so happily experience the benefits of free-sharing socialism? Where else do the wealthiest of the wealthy take so much joy in the establishment of 100 percent luxury taxes? And isn't MLB the most efficient money-gouging machine that ever existed? Bernie Madoff was an amateur. 

(Question: Why can't we have the same model in American politics? Let the Koch brothers spend as much as they want to buy their candidates, but when a billionaire goes over a certain cap number, let him pay a "luxury tax" to the other owners.)

Thanks to Yoan Moncada, the Redsocks will pay $30 million in luxury taxes. What a sugary nipple for new MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred. That's his first boathouse. Also, it more than fills Bud Selig's $6 million per year retirement loot bag. Let's say MLB siphons off half the money - $15 million - just for rubber-stamping the papers. Another half-million will go toward booze, food and "adult entertainment" at the owners' Booty Pinata Party.

That's how I hear they divvy up the money. They fill a big booty pinata with $1,000 bearer bonds. It's the only way to get $14.5 million to fit. They invite all the owners. Everybody eats cake and gets his face painted (a sexual metaphor, BTW.) The small market owners get to put on the blindfold and swing first at the pinata. Also, the worst team owners get to sit closest, so when somebody finally breaks it open, they can grab the most loot. 

Everybody gets some. Along with a belly full of cake, I bet Hal goes home with a couple hundred thousand dollars - and it's all because he just said no to Moncada. 

It's fun - getting FREE REDSOCK MONEY... because you didn't spend your own money.

It's like getting money from the government for not growing beets. What a great country, if you own it. The Yankees never need to sign anybody, ever. Between luxury tax money - and continued sale of dirt from the old Yankee Stadium - the Steinbrenners will be in clover forever. Soccer, anyone?

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