FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS
Friday, December 11, 2015
Posted by el duque at 6:29 AM
They stress their distaste for long, bloated contracts. They won't sign anybody until other contract bombs come off the books. Then they trade for Starlin Castro, to whom they'll shovel $38 million over the next four years.
They stress the need for a lights-out bullpen. After all, that's how the Royals did it. They'll find power arms and lock down games in the seventh. Then they trade Adam Warren and Justin Wilson.
They stress that Rob Refsnyder is ready, and how they're comfortable with Dustin Ackley as a 2B platoon. Then they piss on both guys by acquiring Castro. (At this point, we should start wondering how uppity Refsnyder must have been last summer, when he arrived from Scranton. The Yankees stress that he didn't show any attitude, but why believe them? Ref must have sashayed into the clubhouse with a red cape and two Mel Hall pet cougars on a leash. He must have addressed A-Rod as "Cabana Boy," demanded a foot massage from Joe Girardi, and screamed that all blue M&Ms must be removed from his dressing room. How else could they hate the kid so much?)
They stress how they never take a year off to rebuild. But as Joel Sherman pointed out yesterday, that's exactly what they doing.
That's OK. I'm good with a rebuilding year. I'd much prefer that to waking up to find we signed Howie Kendrick to a lifetime deal. I just keep telling myself the good news: Whatever they say doesn't matter. They lie without restriction.They view die-hard Yankee fans not as a money source or lodestone of passion. They see us as flyspecks, to be viewed with disdain. If not for fans like us, their lives would be so much easier, and - despite whatever happens next summer - they'll still be rich beyond our fantasies. So they can lie. We don't matter. And frankly, I'm even OK with that... as long as there is a dim light in the tunnel.
So Brian Cashman says the Yankees are not done dealing deals. Who cares what he says. As far as I'm concerned, he could have said Miley Cyrus has six toes and a purple tail. It doesn't matter. The 2016 Yankees can challenge for the final Wild Card birth through August 15, and if somebody blooms unexpectedly, they can ride the miserable Wild Card race into late September. Mission accomplished.
And - let's give credit - they have kept faithful to one stated objective: The team is getting younger. (It would be hard to get older.) If we get lucky, we'll go deeper into July before the wheels fall off. Because the wheels are quite brittle. At any time, in any instant, in any swing of the bat, we can lose Gardner, Ellsbury, A-Rod, Tex, CC, Tanaka, Pineda and/or Beltran - and that's not counting tweaked gonads or collisions. We can lose these guys while they're taking a crap.
They say they are not done. Thank God we know better than to listen.