Friday, December 4, 2015

Master of the Obvious

I think I've got the answer to the Yankee's malaise.
"The Bard of the Deal" ( El Duque's newest literary product ) is not only belly-splitting in its humor, but there are deep thoughts evident throughout its poetry.  Some are stated and obvious, while others are provoked by the iterations of the future leader of America.

I was awakened from deep REM sleep by the obvious.

So here is what we need, from the Bard who does everything successfully;


With Donald in charge, the ownership moves back to NYC where it belongs.  If a rookie, specifically groomed for base-stealing, gets picked off the first time we see him in pinstripes, do you think his life in baseball continues under the Bard?

 All of a sudden, A-Rod's dumb contract means nothing. If Jacoby gets injured, break some more bones. Send Gardy away if he doesn't hit.  Buy CC free booze if he can't pitch.  Fire that bum Cashman and put your daughter in charge.

In a word: Shake things up.  Make the Yankees great again!  It is a campaign promise you can fulfill easily.



By saving the Yankees, you are saving America.


ceej said...

Jesus, old man George was horrible too, though in a different way from his spawn. Trump would be just like George.

Can't we just get rid of the fucking Steinbrenners? I hate those fucks. I'm old enough to remember the Yanks without the fucking Steinbrenners. Hmm, let's see. In the 42 years before the Stein-fucks, the Yanks won the Series 17 times. In the 42 years of the Steinbrenners' reign they won it 7 times, for the most part in spite of these guys.

Look, they parlayed the old man's initial six figure investment into a billion dollar tax-free windfall. Are we supposed to thank them for making them rich? Fuck 'em.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

You remember the pre-Stein years?

I do too. It was called the CBS /Horace Clark / Yankees stink era.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

CBS years were way worse than those of the Steinbrenner years. Hal and Hank may be going after the record, but it would take many years of abuse to affect. Horace Clark was a great guy, a decent 2B. He could play the game. One could always turn to the Mets, or the Dodgers.......

John M said...

CBS wasn't the owner for that long, and Mike Burke walking onto the field with his long hair flying and gigantic sideburns, recalling a 19th century copper magnate, hovering over his windowpane plaid, flare-bottom suit on opening day was worth the price of admission. And Horace Clarke was a decent guy.

The terrible Yankees of the late 60s will always have a place in my heart. Tickets were relatively cheap, even field box seats were easy to get at the walk-up window, and you weren't pummeled with horrible music and stupid scoreboard subway races every time there was a break in the action. TV commercial breaks were shorter and games moved faster. The Folly Floater was a marvel, and Rizzuto was at the top of his color commentary form.

Now, the Master and Suzyn aside, it's the same dreary scenario year after year, broken only by 2009. We're approaching 15 years of almost-good and dull right-wing patriotism with little redeeming entertainment value.

If you can't be great, it's not bad to suck. The extremes are always where good times lie; you know what to expect and you can enjoy everything for what it is, not what it's supposed to be. I'd rather have CBS than these palookas.

Alphonso said...

These are the reasons I have recommended the sale of the franchise from the Steinbrenners to The Trumps.

It is all resonating now.

ceeja said...

It wasn't CBS' or Mike Burke's fault that the Yanks were slow to recruit the great black and latino prospects of the 50s and 60s or that there was nothing in their farm system after 1964.

But like the Steinbrenners and Trump, CBS was a total amateur. Can't we get some hard-headed ownership and management that knows what they're doing? Yes, we can, but the smart guys won't buy the team until dumb-dumb Hal runs it into the ground, and it sells for cheap.