Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Eight points on the Chapman deal, (one for each bullet he fired into the garage:) Is it a bold strategic plan, or a sign of desperation?

1. Considering the trade prices recently paid for top closers, the Yankees received the "Walmart Wife-Beater Discount." I'm sure you've been wondering what the "Walmart Wife-Beater Discount" is in modern professional sports. My best calculation: It equals at least one blue-chip prospect - an Aaron Judge or Gary Sanchez - which the Yankees did not give up. That's coupon shopping!

2. Technically, the Yes spin machine can argue that Chapman is not a "wife-beater." Nobody claims he beat his wife. He just terrorized a woman with his bare hands and trusty field weapon. He choked her, slammed her into a wall, then laid down cover fire by peppering the garage with bullets. Technically, A-Rold is a "garage-abuser." If the Yankee lawyers can get the League to see this as a happy gun-owner incident - (doesn't the Second Amendment give us the right to redecorate our garages?) - rather than a horror show of domestic violence, Chapman might get less of a punishment - weeks instead of months. Something to look forward to, eh?

3. Chapman's act apparently was not videotaped. Also, the girlfriend supposedly will not talk. So it's their words against the police report. By this time next week, we will probably know the brand of A-Rold's hair spray.

(By the way, sorry to sound wise-ass about something as serious as domestic violence. I'm just cynical about how this case will go down. MLB - a corporation that acts as little more than a glorified ATM for billionaire profiteers - will attempt to project a moral message to the public. It hasn't done enough about domestic violence in the past, so along with pink bats, it's going to make "a statement." Like I say, sorry to be flippant on a serious matter. But when I see the judge and jury here, I see boxing kangaroos.)

4. Boston fans won't be kind to A-Rold, especially since the Redsocks almost traded for him. Something to look forward to, eh?

5. A-Rod is no longer the Yankees' Public Enemy No. In fact, Alex's crimes against humanity - as prosecuted for three years by the Salem Press - might even deserve historical revision. In the course of his crimes, no garages were hurt.

6. Brace yourself for either Dellin Betances or Andrew Miller to be traded. Last year, the Yankees had a chance to build a similar three-pronged bullpen, if they re-signed David Robertson. They let Robby go and banked the draft pick. In this case, they might convert Miller into a young starting pitcher. It all comes down to this: Does a team with as many issues as the Yankees really need three closers?

7. The deal is as notable for who was not traded - none of the players expected to wither on the 2015 Scranton death-vine. I'm talking about Greg Bird, Slate Heathcott, Mason Williams, Rob Refsnyder, Austin Romine, Ben Gamel, and the bullpen cast of Glee. Only Caleb Cotham played last year in Scranton. Frankly, I donno what to make of this. Cashman could be saving chips for another trade. It could be that Cincy didn't value these guys enough to want them. I donno. Frankly, though, I'm glad we still have these guys. If anybody thinks the Yankee front liners are going to stay healthy throughout 2015... that's crazy.

8. For whatever it's worth, here's what Cincy fan bloggers are saying. (Though, why in the world would anybody care what fan bloggers think?) 

Redreporter: The Reds got a decent haul for Chapman.  It isn't what they could have gotten a year ago.  It isn't what they could have gotten in July.  It's the best they could have gotten right now... 
 There are huge questions about these two players, but there is also some real potential.

RedlegNation: Keep in mind that the Yankees have a good chance of earning a compensation pick for Chapman at the end of 2016 when he becomes a free agent. That makes the Reds return look worse. They weren’t just trading the best closer in baseball, they were trading a pretty good draft pick, too... 

For whatever it's worth, both blogs are tickled, tickled, tickled that Chapman is gone.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

There were no pitchers already convicted as serial killers available to Cashman?

KD said...

Tell us again how beards are contrary to Yankee values?

Anonymous said...

GREAT POINT KD...HAHAHA!

el duque said...

KD, that IS a great point. It might deserve its own rant.

ceeja said...

Re facial hair: please see,e.g., Munson, Thurman; Jackson, Reginald; Guidry, Ron; Lyle, Albert Sparky; Gossage, Ron; Martin, Billy; Chambliss, Chris; Mattingly, Don; Winfield, Dave; Wells, David.