Friday, December 18, 2015

Painted into a corner by austerity, we must steel ourselves for the inevitable Brett Gardner trade

One of the best parts - no, THE best part - of the recent Justin Wilson trade was that it surely ended any Yankee front office delusion about dealing Andrew Miller. As Scotty would tell Kirk, "The pen, Captain, she can't take it any more!" Simultaneously, we are now done with the fantasy that Hal "I'm Not Cheap" Steinbrenner is lying in wait, prepared to spring catlike on a big free agent. Aint gonna happen. Help is NOT on the way.

Thus, Brett Gardner remains the last 2015 Yankee trade chip, for any meaningful nose job on this lopsided roster.

For better or worse, we should expect Gardy to go yardy, just a bit tardy.

So what would we get, and will it be worth it? That, Colonel Kurtz, is the question. Obviously, Cashman trolled the winter meetings last week and came back with only unexplained tattoos across his body. Everybody in baseball wants pitching - (that's new, eh?) - and let's face it: Speed outfielders who no longer steal bases don't get face time on Center Stage with Michael Kay. Several teams seeking OF lug nuts found them elsewhere. For Cashman to get market value for Gardner, some OF somewhere must tweak a gonad or shoot up an Arby's.

Meanwhile, Girardi will blather about this wonderful stockpile of OFers, talking though the fact that we have too many. There is the un-tradeable Jacoby Ellsbury and the immovable Carlos Beltran: Nobody would take either if we threw in a boat. We have Aaron Hicks, whom Cashman has already proclaimed as a 2016 breakout star. We have Slade Heathcott and Mason Williams - both showed promise last year, though they're basically the same player: a LH centerfielder - and Ben Gamel, who ruined everything by hitting .300 at Triple A and forcing his way into a shot. Then there is Dustin Ackley, another Cashman Cutie, (another LH,) and of course, the ghost of Rob Refsnyder, who shall only see a chance when Birnam Wood comes to Dunsinane.

Somebody's gotta go. Too many OF, too few arms. That leaves Gardy on the launch pad. Last year, he became our de facto captain. He seemed on the cusp of stardom, the kind that might end up someday getting a plaque. In the end, his meek ground-out drew the loudest boos in Yankee Stadium. Nobody wants it to end that way. But steel yourself, folks. There's no other way. It's gonna hurt, losing an old friend - especially knowing we will die someday with Shallow Hal still at the helm, counting his money.


JM said...

What this team needs is a gimmick. That's the only thing that will keep the turnstiles turning the next few years. One idea would be to field an 'all homegrown' team. They might not be great, but they'll be entertaining and pull on the old heartstrings. Since this is the Yankees, that will never happen, so maybe we go with an 'all hired gun' team. Clear out Gardy and anyone else who might have passed within a few miles of any Yankees farm team. Or played on one.

Bill Veeck would know what to do. Get a midget...sorry, small play left and call him Little Gardy, whatever his real name is. Make Beltran wear Bozo shoes when he's in right. What the hell, he can't get any slower. And you get visiting teams in on the gags. For instance, when McCann, Tex, and our other pull hitters come to the plate, put all seven defenders in right field and between first and second. What a hoot that would be. They'd still hit into that shift, by the way.

There are a lot of great ideas. How about "I'm Not Cheap Day"? Refreshments all half price. If the closer ever gets in a game (I don't expect we'd be ahead going into the ninth very often) guessed's "Miller Time" and everyone gets a free High Life, even kids. Boy, the traffic jam around the stadium will be fun those days.

Let's start sending emails, letters, balloon bouquets, rubber chickens, whatever it takes to get the front office to go for the gimmick. It could lower the payroll, it can't degrade Yankees Baseball much more than this regime has already degraded it, and it's a guaranteed good time for kids of all ages.

Parson Tom said...

John M makes some reasonable suggestions. If, however, the Yankees choose not to follow his blueprint for success, here's an idea: The wisdom and chutzpah necessary to revive the Yankees can be found on the book that was expertly dropped into my bushes yesterday by an Amazon drone: Bard of the Deal.

This guy's wisdom runs deep, and he says it so eloquently.

Alphonso said...

Only one criticism of John M's plan: Rather than providing half price on refreshments, Hal ( " I'm not cheap" ) will double the prices.

Tom ( is that you Mustang?); We don't simply need some pithy direction from the Bard, we need him to own the team. When he drops from the Presidential fiasco, he can focus on something real.

He buys the Yankees ( negotiates a " steal" of a price ) and builds a team that is, and will always remain, the best in the world.

Until they go bankrupt.

Alphonso said...

Note to Duque: Here is what they can do with Gardy, since no major league team will trade a goat for him ( unless desperation sets in after injuries and jail sentences ):

Trade Gardy to a minor league club of some other franchise, and get " prospects " for re-stocking our inventory of A level outfielders.

ufred said...

if Gardner goes it's because the team really CAN spare a left-hand slap hitter playing a corner outfield position when the team needs a righty power bat in the line-up