Sunday, March 6, 2016

Girardi spills the beans: The Master is calling games on two new artificial knees

In the middle of yesterday's glorious Yankee exhibition triumph, Joe Girardi unleashed to the world a news kraken:

Over the winter, John Sterling underwent two (2) knee surgeries.

Yes, The Master called most - if not all - of 2015 on a pair of pain-shrieking stumps. You wouldn't known he was bone-on-bone. The Master never complained in public and, clearly, must have sworn Suzyn to secrecy - threatening her with a HIPAA violation lawsuit. Yesterday, Girardi - being atop the Yankee food chain - took it upon himself to blow the whistle - you know - spill the beans, pop the cherry, let the cat out of the bag... lift the cheek and let it sneak.  

"You hear the horror stories," John said, of the surgeries, but assured the Yankiverse that all is fine.

Sometime this season, Sterling will call his 5,000th consecutive Yankee game, making him baseball's Iron Lung. Let's hope the Yankees show the fundamental decency to win that game, allowing The Master to unleash a 7.00-second plus Win Warble, something that was increasingly rare last year. Of course, we didn't know he was win-warbling in pain.

Let's get one thing straight: Until the Yankee ownership starts acting like a Yankee owner, instead of the son of one, we are not a Yankee website.

We are a John Sterling website, even if it means hearing The Master's call a good 30 seconds after the play has appeared on TV, which was the case yesterday.

Other Sterling moments from the first radio broadcast of 2016:

Judge not, or be judged: The Master's home run call for Aaron Judge is rather predictable: "Here come da Judge!" (We'd prefer as the secondary line: "He's Judge, Jury and Executioner.") It's early.

Little Georgie? No home run call for Jorge Mateo - yet. All John could say was: "Woah." It's early.

Revelation: John reported that, in a recent talk, Chasen Shreve admitted that he was tired at the end of 2015, and that's why, in September, he was throwing like Betty White.

Outfield scrum: Discussing Ben Gamel, John mentioned that he, Slade Heathcott and Mason Williams are "all fighting for, frankly, a job that's not there." Scranton, here they come.

The unnamed scout: John had a talk with an unnamed scout, who revealed this exclusive info nugget: If Hanley Ramirez doesn't play well at first base this season, considering Sandoval at third, Boston could have the worst fielding infield in the A.L. Yes, you could hear The Master's smile coming through the microphone... Not even a pair of bum knees could silence that delighted grin.

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