Monday, March 28, 2016

Toronto chooses Jesus; Swish goes swoosh

Just hours after Jesus Montero was banished from Seattle, he wandered to Toronto and was signed by the Blue Jays. Rats. Didn't we all want the Retrieval Empire to make him a Scrantonian? It would be like sleeping with Joggy Cano's wife, and then flinging all her clothes out the window. Wouldn't Jesus heal the loss of Greg Bird? Of course, it couldn't happen: We have Chris Parmelee.

 Also today, the mighty Braves - retrievers of all that is retrievable (see Zolio Almonte, Adonis Garcia, Manny Banuelos, et al) jettisoned colorful Nick Swisher - though not his $15 million salary, some of which is being covered by Cleveland. Too bad. If we signed Swish, it would be a Native American double-bank shot - the Indians and Braves paying his wages. Alas, we have no place to put him. We have Chris Parmelee.

Big question looming, will we devour some team's IF table scraps? The answer, of course, is of course!  


Tom said...

That Parmelee kid must be the real deal.

Tom said...

OK, I got a problem with this from the LoHud blog:

"Back in September, when rosters expanded, the Yankees' bullpen was full. In fact, it was overcrowded.

"Andrew Miller was closing, Dellin Betances was the setup man, Justin Wilson was handling the seventh, Chasen Shreve was still pitching well, Adam Warren was out of the rotation, Bryan Mitchell was back from his line drive scare, and September call-ups had completely filled the 40-man roster."

Now, I don't know what team Chad Jennings was watching, but Chasen Shreve was a complete train wreck in September and August. Justin Wilson was wobbly and the great Betances was dancing through one high-wire act after another. Miller was the only fully reliable pitcher in the pen.

Sports writing seems to require a short memory.

Alphonso said...

Two Questions:

1. Can Parmelee score from second on a sac fly?
2. Who is he still younger than?
3. Is he a lifelong Yankee, having come up through the system?

Okay. Three questions.

Note to Tom; Sports writing actually requires no a corner back, like a closer. It doesn't even require accuracy.
or truth.