FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS
Thursday, March 31, 2016
Posted by el duque at 7:41 AM
Of course, you know by now that Andrew Miller yesterday stopped a line drive with his glove wrist and has a "chip fracture." The way the Yankees are downplaying it, we shouldn't worry. How bad can a "chip fracture" be? It's just a chip. They'll rub some dirt on it. Miller's no weenie, right?
To learn more about this nuisance malady - also called a "broken wrist" - I consulted Healthtap.com, an invaluable medical resource. If any of you are bleeding from the ears, or have a golf ball-sized tumor growing out of your head, I recommend this critical self-diagnostic tool. Why waste money - and long hours in a waiting room - when you can receive expert advice in the comfort of your deathbed?
On HealthTap, someone complains of a "non-displaced triquetrum chip fracture of the left wrist," which required four weeks in a cast, and still brings soreness after activity. They ask: Is the soreness normal? Hand surgeon Dr. Stephen Brown says "Yes... Reactive swelling and discomfort in this time frame are completely normal."
Four weeks in a cast, and soreness afterwards?
Hmm. Of course, Miller doesn't pitch with that wrist, and he can wear a flexible graphine cast to immobilize it and allow pitching motion. No problem, right? But here's a question: Do you want to start a long, grueling season with your best bullpen pitcher throwing with a fractured wrist? I didn't see that particular question posted on Healthtap, so I have no answer.
Four weeks in a cast, and soreness afterwards...
Also yesterday, Brian Mitchell sprained his left big toe while covering first base. (Last year, Chris Capuano - who has made the Brewers! - messed himself up covering first in a spring game. Why don't we just tell pitchers to let grounder to first be hits until - say - June 1 - when they can figure it out?) Again, I consulted Healthtap, and let me tell you: The only way to describe my findings is: PURE TERROR.
One poor soul sprained his big toe two months ago, and it still hurts. Another sprained the big toe three months ago, and it still gives sharp pain. But listen to this: One guy has "a cluster of lumps" along the right side of his foot, near where he sprained his big toe years ago. It bothers him. A frickin cluster of lumps! Healthcap suggests he see a doctor. I say, amputate.
The Yankees downplay injuries like a political candidate pooh-poohing a scandal. "There's no problem, everything's fine, LOOK - THERE'S A-ROD'S NEW GIRLFRIEND!"
But the season is a grinder. Remember how raggedly we played last September? Who knows what the Yankees will do with Miller and Mitchell... but is it smart to run them out on Day One, already physically compromised? Isn't that a recipe for a good player to have a bad season?
My web diagnosis: We just suffered two huge setbacks. Help us, Mr. Dellin. It's all up to you.